Chapter Ten

Sunday June 8th: 7:04

“Teddy…” a high pitched voice nagged. “Teddy!” Theodore awoke with a disgruntled grumble, a series of unhappy animalistic snorts accompanying his return to consciousness. Luke’s dorky five-year-old features loomed inches from his face, his little cousin stood practically on top of him at the side of the bed. “WAKE UP!” he exclaimed with an over-energetic shout, practically vibrating with energy.

Upon glimpsing the number displayed on a paw-patrol themed alarm clock on the bedside table, the boy’s first instinct was to ignore the annoying preschool graduate and turn around - endeavoring to go right back to sleep. But as Theodore was forced to process the juvenile room around him, and felt an uncomfortable dampness beneath the Sesame Street sheets, and slowly began to recall the events of the last night, and the day before that, and the day before that, his sleepy pre-adolescent grumpiness dissipated completely - giving way to jittery anxious anticipation.

He sat up as rigid as a board in bed, springing up like a jack-in-the-box. Practically shoving Luke aside, he reached for the alarm clock - reading the day of the week displayed in the top right hand corner. His heart fell a little. It was Sunday. Again.

As he studied the dark glass display however, his hope once again piqued at the shrouded barely visible shimmers of his own reflection. His eyes darted around the room, eventually locating the full length mirror directed towards him propped up in the corner. It showed himself, wide eyed and bed-haired, sitting straight up in bed. He let out an involuntary yip. He’d got bigger again!

Theodore continued to stare, his smile only growing bigger and dopier. He was still a kid, that was for sure, not a whisper of the subtle hints of his impending adolescence that he’d possessed at fourteen yet present on his smooth girlish neck and wonderstruck round face. But there was definitely progress - there was no denying that.

His nose, though smattered with just the right amount of adorable freckles, was no longer a cute babyish button - seeming to have found some semblance of grown-up grade-school definition; his hair was no longer a uniform blonde, his wavy curls now arranged in a unkempt thicket of butterscotch atop his head; his cheeks, though still plenty rosy, no longer possessed that pinchable plumpness of a kid only just making his way out of toddlerhood - now more suitable for a boy well on his way with his ABCs. He recognized himself as about ten or eleven, accounting for the late-blooming in his preteen years which left him looking just a tad bit younger by common reckoning.

The boy’s mind, free from the kindergarten fog and already starting to whir into factory production of boundless curiosity, at once began to speculate. Before, it had been a straight spiral - a definite downward trend. He’d started off eighteen, then endured fourteen, and then six. He’d half been expecting to wake up in a crib. Instead he’d gained five years, earning a reprieve from full-time diapers - for now.

“Um…I think you weed on my bed.” Luke interrupted with a giggle, loosely shaking Theodore to stir him from his daydream and pointing down to a very conspicuous dark spot visible just over Theodore’s crotch - blotting out a cheery picture of Elmo.

“Huh?” Theodore exclaimed, turning to stare in horror at what he’d done. The cold dampness between his legs confirmed the truth. But how was that even possible? He’d been well past wetting the bed at this age! At least the first time.

He didn’t dedicate any more time to useless navel-gazing, however. He jumped up from beneath his covers, discovering an equally humiliating yellowy damp stain displayed prominently on the shorts of his white and red Pokemon pajama set. Acting as if Luke wasn’t even there, he found himself whipping around and starting to strip the bed, as if acting on autopilot. He tried not to panic, but with every passing second he only grew more and more jittery. The mystery of his repeated regressions - not to mention the endlessly repeating Sunday - faded far into the distance in terms of Theo’s priorities, the boy instead finding himself catastrophizing over every possible humiliating possibility that might stem from the babyish bedwetting incident. He needed to fix this! If Mom found out - or worse, Charlie or Ewan - his life would be over!

Moments later he was skittering down the stairs in his soggy pajamas, a big bundle of all his soiled sheets in his arms. No sooner had he opened the door to the laundry room, however, than he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Teddy?” his Mom’s voice inquired. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin. He didn’t even pause to consider the name she had used. Ever since he was ten it had always been Theodore, after all - Theo at the very least.

“I gotta use the washer!” Theo blurted out, finding his voice at least had not changed very much. It still sat firmly in the treble register that had so sweetly sang “Teddy Bear Picnic” the night before.

Mom, of course, saw through him at once. She turned him around, getting a good view of the mess on his pajama shorts. “Oh, Teddy.” she sighed, her voice heavy with disappointment. “And in Luke’s bed too?” she questioned.

“It’s not my fault!” Teddy whined defensively, letting Mom take the ruined sheets from his arms.

“Of course it isn't sweetie.” Mom said matter of factly, her tone not particularly comforting. “That brother of yours.” she tutted. “If he’s going to insist on having a sleepover with Ewan, they could have at least included you.” she continued, loading the sheets into the washer. She turned back, offering Theodore a sympathetic smile. “Go and wash up.” she instructed. “I’ll take care of this.”

***

Theodore sat in the middle row of the car. Jessica was next to him and Luke was in his car seat on the other side. Ewan and Charlie were in the back seat, and Theodore couldn't help but become irritated by every little noise they made. If anything he should be over the moon, what with waking up older that morning, yet so far his day had been nothing to celebrate - and most of it had to do with the two boys in the back seat.

Theodore had thought he could keep his little accident under wraps. He knew his Mom had a habit of saying embarrassing things about him sometimes, but he could trust her enough to remain discreet about this – what he had forgotten about was Luke. Theodore had come down to the kitchen for breakfast after getting changed, which had taken a while as he found that his suitcase had again contained nothing but a plethora of humiliating age appropriate clothing he was loath to choose from . He had managed to settle on a pair of tan cargo shorts and a shirt with some dirt bikers on it. It wasn't a mature outfit, but it was better than what he had been wearing the day before - and it was nice for once to be able to wear something more casual.

Unlike the previous days, there was no graduation ceremony to rush off to.The ceremony had been held a week ago when the elementary school had let out - a thought that wasn’t particularly comforting.

Theodore took a seat at the table. His mind had been racing with all sorts of plans of how he could get more information about what was going on. Now that he was eleven, he certainly would be more capable than he had been at six. Yet all his thoughts had evaporated as he looked up at Ewan smirking at him from across the table.

“Enjoy your sleepover with Luke?” Ewan asked, his voice dripping with annoying smugness.

“I was just being nice,” Theo countered, making up a semi-plausible explanation off the top of his head.

“I guess,” Ewan shrugged before Theo saw Ewan's eyes focus back on him with laser precision, about to strike a decisive blow. “Though it wasn't very nice to piss in Luke's bed, you know. Guess you really do belong in the little kids room.”

Theodore's face immediately turned three different shades of red in quick succession.

“How did you-” Theodore squawked, as his tongue tied itself up in his mouth.

“Luke told everyone all about it,” Ewan laughed, slapping the table.

“Why would you tell people that?” Theo seethed at Luke, who was smiling just like his big brother.

“Because it's funny!,” Luke replied in a sing-song voice.

“No it's not,” Theodore shouted. Luke's smile disappeared, replaced with a worried expression. Clearly his malice didn’t run quite so deep as Ewan’s..

“Theo is right Luke,” Ewan tutted. “It's not funny...it's super funny!”

“Would you just shut up!” Theodore growled, his embarrassment turning to outright fury.

“How can I?” Ewan crowed back, Theodore's attempt at intimidation not having any effect on him. “I know you act like a little kid sometimes, but even for you this is too much. I mean just think about how perfect it all was. You in your little pokemon pajamas cuddled up under Luke's sesame street blankets–“

“You like pokemon too!” Theo interjected weakly.

“Sure I do,” Ewan had agreed. “But I don't go around wearing it on my clothes. That's little kid stuff.”

“They're an old pair,” Theodore countered.

“No they're not,” Charlie piped up. “You got them last month.”

Theodore whirled around to glare at Charlie, who just stared back with a clueless look on his face. Theodore pursed his lips a little - that couldn't be right. He remembered himself enough at eleven that he knew he would have definitely been too embarrassed to pick out clothes with cartoon characters on them.

“This is messed up…” Theodore mumbled to himself.

“You know what I think is messed up, you and Charlie.” Ewan butted in again, smirking at the ten-year-old. “I mean, you act more mature than little Teddy here. Are you sure you're not actually the older brother?”

“He is a year older than me.” Charlie shrugged.

“Hmmm,” Ewan said, rubbing his chin a little. “ Maybe technically, but I think you might be a little taller.”.

Theodore glared jealousy at Charlie for a moment. That couldn't be true.Sure, Theodore hadn't really hit a big growth spurt until later in life, but he was definitely similar in size to Charlie - if not a bit bigger, however slight it was. Yet even knowing that Ewan was just teasing, the comment hit Theodore hard, not in the least part owing to the fact that yesterday Charlie had actually been his much older brother. Theo felt some fury bubble up within him. He couldn’t just let the comment slide; he had to assert himself!

“I'm big enough to beat you!,” Theodore growled as he grabbed Ewan by the collar. Ewan gave an amused smirk.

“I would love to see you try, but don't go crying to mommy when you lose.” Ewan had retorted, his voice filled with a confident bravado.

“Is something going on here?” Uncle Rob had interrupted, walking into the kitchen.

Theo unclasped his hands from Ewan's collar, quickly taking a seat. Uncle Rob came over to the table, taking a sip of his coffee as he surveyed the boys who all looked a little guilty. “Hurry and finish up, we got places to be.”

Another chorus of laughter from the backseat caused Theodore to come back to the present moment. He rolled his eyes. Just what were Ewan and Charlie being so chummy for? Judging from the conversation that morning, it seemed like in Ewan's eyes Charlie was more mature than Theodore. But that shouldn't be. Charlie was now his younger brother again, so shouldn't things have reverted back? Shouldn't Charlie have gone back to being his coddled spoiled little brother? Theo could only conclude that somehow that dynamic had changed now that they were so close in age.

Yet that explanation didn't seem to sit right with Theo either. He had always held that even when he had been Charlie's age, he had always acted far more mature - and he was certainly more mature at eleven than Charlie was at ten! The only possible explanation now was that perhaps Theo's estimation between Charlie and himself had somehow been incorrect. Maybe Charlie hadn't been all that immature in the first place, and it had only seemed that way to the eighteen year old Theodore?

Theodore shook his head. That just couldn't be true. Even when Charlie had been older, their mother had still treated him much differently than she had treated Theodore. It didn't seem to matter who the older child was. Charlie was always her golden child in any scenario. When he was younger she coddled and babied him, and when he was older she held him up as a shining example of responsibility who could do absolutely no wrong!

The car pulled into a parking lot as everyone got out and began to head towards the line of storefronts. Theodore still wasn't sure what they were even doing here, not that he really cared. What did it matter? If things carried on as they had, everything would be reset again and he didn't know where he would find himself. He felt completely powerless, and with the way the morning had been going he had all but given up. Whatever strange force was causing all this, Theo was resigned to let it do whatever it wanted to him.

As Theo plodded along, kicking a small pebble along the ground, he felt a hand go across his shoulders. He looked up to see his Mom.

“Theo, you need to get those storm clouds out from around your head.” she instructed sternly, yet not without some sympathy..

Theo let his head hang back down. His Mom had certainly shown him some affection yesterday, but he guessed that things were back to normal between the two of them now that he was the older brother. As the older kid, she expected him to not let things bother him. To not make problems for her. He knew he should try to look on the bright side. He had woken up that morning older; it was a cause for celebration - especially since he had fully expected to wake up younger than ever. It didn't seem to matter though. Nothing could ever go his way – he had been thoroughly humiliated.

“What's the point?” Theo grumbled, pushing his shoulders up to remove his Mom's arm. “Everything is terrible!” He complained, his preteen penchant for dramatics on full display. Mom merely chuckled a little.

“That's not true,” she said, using her finger to lift his chin up to look at her. “I know this morning wasn't a great start to the day. I guess I should have seen it coming. You did drink a lot of soda last night.I apologize for not reminding you.”

Theo pursed his lips a little. His Mom's comment had brought up some memories that he didn't like to think about. This hadn't been the first time he had wet the bed as an older child. Truthfully he had stopped wetting the bed altogether at seven, but his bladder had still been a little overactive and there had been one or two isolated incidents when he had drank too much before going to sleep.

As supportive and understanding as his Mom was being, it didn't exactly feel very comforting to have his Mom insinuate that he was still at an age where he needed reminders from her about such things. In fact, this whole thing was a little unfair. Theodore hadn't made a choice to drink soda after all. If anything, he had gone to sleep taking every precaution necessary to avoid an accident. It seemed to him that whatever was doing this to him also liked to make sure that he was as humiliated as possible - and there was nothing he could do but take it on the chin.

“Now Theo, stiffen that upper lip young man!” his Mom said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I don't want to see you acting like a mopey little boy all day. You're much too old for that.”

Theo furrowed his brow a little. His Mom was never very good with the pep talks, often leaving him feeling like his problems were because of his own choices rather than helping him feel better. He looked past her to see Ewan and Charlie hanging out near a storefront. They were running at one of the stone columns, jumping into it before kicking off it with a foot in some sort of competition to see who could get higher. Mom followed Theo's gaze. “And don't you pay any mind to that cousin of yours, I'll certainly be having a talk with him about teasing.”

“Mom no!” Theo yipped. He didn't know why, but hearing his Mom's plans filled him with a weird sense of shame. If anything, he should delight in the idea of Ewan being told off by his Mom - she was certainly good at that. Yet Theo felt like it would only make him look all the more immature in Ewan's eyes, that he needed his Mommy to fight his battles for him. For some reason, Theo felt compelled to try and get Ewan to like him. “He's not bothering me really…” Theodore quickly added. His Mom stared at him for a moment, before smiling.

“Okay, I get it.” she said, patting him on the shoulder. “Now hurry up, we've got a big surprise for you.”

,Theodore saw they had come to a music store. The sound of electric guitars wailing through amps reverberated around as Theo wondered at all the shiny instruments hung on the walls. His Mom took him by the arm, dragging him further into the store. They went past the drum room with the sound of smashing cymbals ringing out, and they went past another section that was filled with stage equipment and turntables, before finally coming to a quiet room near the back. Theodore's Mom sat him on a chair and told him to wait. Theodore looked around, seeing they were in a room that had all sorts of orchestra instruments. He saw some cellos set against the wall, as well as some glimmering trumpets set up on a table.

“No peeking!” he heard Jessica say behind him as she covered his eyes with her hands.

“Jessica stop…,” Theodore complained, trying to wiggle free

“Oh hush Theo, we're just having fun.” she chuckled. Theodore heard some shuffling in front of him, before Jessica removed her hands to reveal his Mom standing in front of him with a violin in her hands. Theo looked on, a little confused.

“Surprise!” Mom exclaimed as she handed over the instrument.

“This is for me?” Theo asked.

“Of course,” Mom smiled. “You've stuck with it all this time, and you've proven how committed you are - so think of this as your elementary school graduation gift. Go on, give it a try!”

Theo put the violin onto his shoulder and pulled the bow across the strings, letting out a delicate note. He began to play bits and pieces of some favorite songs. The instrument felt immaculate in his hands. He was starting to feel that same spark that had been lost to him for so long – he was reminded of what had made him fall in love with the violin in the first place. It was the feeling he got when he found himself lost in the music, playing for no one but himself. He paused as he brought the violin in front of himself to admire it. He had never owned a violin as nice as this before. In the past he had always played on cheap rentals, since it was all his Mom had said she was able to afford. Theodore became a little suspicious. In the past he had always felt his Mom had been lying to him. She had just never wanted to spend the money on him. Surely it was to save money so she could continue to shower Charlie with whatever he wanted?

“You're sure you can afford this?” Theodore asked as his eyes narrowed.

“It's a big expense,” his Mom said. “You need to thank your Uncle Rob too. He chipped in for it as well.”

“Your Mom was pretty convincing. She said it was an investment in the future.,” Uncle Rob said.

“My future…” Theodore echoed back. The word filled him with some uneasiness.

“That's right.” his Mom said. “Me and your Uncle had a very long talk about that. You keep up with practice and he said he would look into sending you to Holyoke in three years, just like Jessica.”

“Think you can follow in my footsteps?” Jessica chuckled as she gave Theo a nudge.

“Theo, I want you to think of this gift as a promise between us.” His Mom said. “If we give you this, that means you are promising to keep up the hard work - and then we'll get you into Holyoke to follow your passion.” she looked at him with an expectant smile, fully confident that what she was saying was sure to elicit a cheerful reaction.

Theo felt a knot well up in his throat. Of course there were strings attached. She would never have given him such a nice gift out of the goodness of her heart, or just because she knew he would like it. What's more, by accepting the gift, he was in some way accepting a future at Holyoke. Who did his Mom think she was talking about passion, while in the same breath committing to send him to the very place that had destroyed it in him?

Theo gripped the neck of the violin. His temper was beginning to rise. Things hadn't changed at all. She was still going to send him away - there seemed to never be a scenario in the world where that wasn't the outcome. He wanted to smash the violin right then and there. It seemed to him a symbol of all the anger and resentment of the last four years in his hands. Still he hesitated. It was a nice violin, and it would certainly cause a scene. Maybe he should just act grateful to avoid any trouble.

A troubling thought then crossed Theo's mind. Something strange was going on here, and he couldn't help but feel like this moment - here and now - meant something about what his future was going to look like. What if by accepting the violin he was committing himself to this future? Is that what this strange mystery was all about? If he accepted the gift, would he wake up in the Holyoke dorm room as a freshman, forced to endure the last four miserable years of his life all over again? He had to avoid such an outcome at any cost.

Just say thank you Tell Mom how he really feels