Chapter Nine

“Fine I promise to play,” Theodore huffed. He figured he could just blow Luke off after the fact - kids lied all the time, right?“

“Okay the password is...” Luke said, leaning in to whisper it into Theodore's ear before pulling back.

Theodore felt his stomach twist up for a moment as he gave Luke a side eye glance. “You can't be serious?” Theodore asked, as Luke just nodded his head - not really grasping what the big deal was. Theodore was skeptical that the password was something so stupid and he was beginning to think that Luke was messing with him. Then again, Theodore didn't really know Luke well enough to even be able to tell if he was the type to pull tricks like that.

Theodore let out one last sigh. The pressure was becoming unbearable and he really had no choice.

“I need the potty please,” Theodore mumbled, only to see nothing happen. He gave a scandalized look at Luke who seemed to not find anything amiss.

“You gotta say it loud or else the door won't open.” Luke tittered. Theo gritted his teeth. It was either this, or having an accident - which was seconds away from becoming a reality. He repeated the password again, this time in a much louder voice, taking a look around afterwards just to make sure no one had noticed.

Miraculously, the red led light turned green as the whirring of the lock could be heard and the door opened a little - allowing Theodore to push it open with some urgency as he raced over to the toilet to relieve himself.

“I'll be back,” Luke said before rushing off. It was at that moment that Theodore realized he had not shut the door. Yet he was currently trapped in front of the toilet and it seemed it was not going to be a quick stop. Every agonizing second passed as Theodore prayed no one would walk past. He then heard some footsteps before a moment later Uncle Rob walked past. His Uncle only chuckled and reminded him to close the door.

“We got ladies in the house, Teddy,” Uncle Rob said before shutting the door.

Theodore finished before washing his hands and walking out of the bathroom. He didn't see Luke anywhere and decided now was the time to slip away unnoticed, however his plan was short lived as Luke appeared running into the hall with something bundled up in his arms.

“Here's the costume,” Luke said, shoving the brown fluffy clothing into Theo's arms. “Although you might want to take off your clothes first - it gets kinda hot.”

Theodore let the fabric unfurl to see Luke had given him a brown one piece onesie. “Um… yeah you know Luke I don't think I really want to play anymore,” Theo said, holding the suit back towards Luke.

“B-but you promised,” Luke said with a betrayed look coming to his face. “You lied?”

“I guess I did,” Theo said, pursing his lips a little. He did feel a tiny bit guilty seeing his little cousin start to tear up.

“You promised! If you don't play I'm gonna tell!” Luke threatened. Theodore suddenly felt his stomach twist up. A sudden fear took hold again at the thought that he was going to be tattled on. What would his Mom say if Luke told her that he had lied to him? She would surely get mad at him again - she would somehow find a way to turn it around on him as she always did.

“Wait, look I'll do it,” Theo said as he began to unbutton his shirt. Luke's mood seemed to do an instant 180. Theodore got his shorts off before stepping into the costume. He was having a little difficulty as he found that his hands were now trapped in some paws attached to the costume.

“What are you guys doing?” the voice of Charlie asked from behind. Theodore spun around to see his brother standing in the hallway.

“We're playing teddy bear picnic,” Luke enthused. “And Teddy is going to be the teddy bear!”

“Oh I see,” Charlie chuckled a little before leaning down to face-level with Theodore. “Let me help you.” Charlie began to help Theodore get the rest of the costume on and then turned him around and zipped him up in the back. “There you go,” Charlie said, adjusting the little bow tie around Theodore's neck. “Although it still needs something. Luke - you still got that face paint kit?”

“Yes,” Luke gasped before running off back to his room.

“What's the matter with you?” Charlie asked Theodore, noticing his less than pleased expression.

“This is stupid,” Theodore grumbled. He felt completely foolish now that he was trapped within the fuzzy prison.

“Ahh don't say that,” Charlie said. “I think it's really nice of you to play with Luke like this. I don't think Ewan or Jessica do stuff like this with him. Plus it's nice to play with someone your own age every once in a while.”

“I wasn't this age yesterday.” Theodore said, venting his own frustration more so than trying to convince Charlie of anything. He already knew that was a dead end. Yet as Theo looked up at Charlie he was surprised to see his brother's brow furrowed a little. As if what Theo had just said stirred something in him.

“Yesterday,” Charlie said softly with a far off look on his face. It was almost as if Charlie had some notion that what Theodore had just said was true. Theo wanted to question him further, but Luke returned and Charlie's face shirked off whatever strange notion he had just taken in - returning back to a smile as he took the face paint container from Luke. Charlie then proceeded to paint Theo's nose black and added three black dots on each cheek for good measure. “There now you look like a proper teddy bear.” Charlie said with a laugh.

“Lets gooo,” Luke exclaimed, dragging Theodore off to his room. Coming in, Theodore could see Charlie had a blanket spread out on the ground with some cups and plates. “Okay, so since you’re my teddy bear you have to do what I say.”

“Luke, how is that gonna be fun for me?” Theodore whined a little, imagining Luke getting all bossy with him.

“Just sit down,” Luke said, not paying Theodore's protest any mind. Theodore grumbled sitting on the blanket bracing himself for the long night ahead of him. Luke took a seat across from him.

“Now we can have our picnic,” Luke smiled, picking up a cup. Just then however, Mom opened the door to the room and announced it was dinnertime. “Awww we were just going to start our picnic!” Luke whined, a little downtrodden that their game was being called off just as it had started.

“I see that.” Mom said, smiling at Theodore all dressed up. “Tell you what, you boys can just have your picnic at dinner.” Mom suggested. Luke let out a cheer, while Theodore only groaned. Luke gathered up the blanket before tearing out of the room, leaving Mom and Theodore alone. “What's got my little Teddy bear all grumpy hmmm?” Mom asked, plucking Theodore off the ground into her arms.

“I don't wanna play.” Theodore mumbled. It was bad enough he had to wear this stupid costume - it was going to be even worse now that everyone would see him in it!

“Oh come now, Luke seems really happy - and you two always have a lot of fun playing together.” Mom said as she carried him out of the room downstairs to the kitchen. Theo wanted to protest, but being in his Mom's arms as she cuddled him seemed to make him feel a bit better about the whole thing. It was a fleeting feeling however that disappeared just as soon as they entered the kitchen together to a chorus of coos and some laughter from Ewan. Luke had already set out a blanket on the ground next to the kitchen table and was sitting eagerly, awaiting his teddy bear.

“We're having fish sticks tonight, which I hear bears love.” Mom said.

“I can't eat like this!” Theodore mewled, holding up his paw-hands.

“Oh I suppose you're right.” Mom said with a frown. Theodore smirked, happy to have found the loophole that would spare him the indignity of having to eat in the costume.

“He's my bear so I hafta take care of him,” Luke interrupted,a proud look on his face. “I'll help him eat.”

“That sounds great Luke,” Mom said, setting Theodore down on the blanked in between Luke's legs. Before Theo could even think to protest Luke had already wrapped his arms around Theo's tummy and held him close.

Mom then set a plate of fish sticks down in front of the boys. Luke grabbed one and held it up to Theodore's mouth. Theo hesitated a moment looking up to his Mom, yet she only nodded with a smile on her face. Theodore let out one final sigh before chomping onto the fish stick, pulling it out of Luke's hand. The rest of dinner proceeded on in much the same manner. Theodore could only stew in silent discontent, and he couldn't ignore the sounds of shutters emanating from his Mom's and Uncle Rob's phones as they seemed to be sneakily taking picture after picture.

Luke was not letting up either, as he seemed to be at the ready with another fish stick just as Theo finished swallowing the previous one. Theodore was actually beginning to feel rather sick with the rapid pace at which he was downing fish sticks. Thankfully, Uncle Rob gave a reminder to Luke that he couldn't just feed his teddy bear and he needed to eat as well. Theodore took the opportunity to crawl away from Luke, grasping the juice box that had been set on the blanket for him, and guzzled down the contents within.

Dinner came to an end as Mom and Uncle Rob began to clean up. Luke was dragging Theo off before they were stopped by Mom.

“I have a favor to ask of you boys - seeing as we have Teddy here looking the part. Do you think you could sing that adorable little song for me?” Mom asked putting her hands together as if she were pleading.

“What song?” Theodore asked with some suspicion.

“You know.” Mom said with a matter of fact tone. “Teddy Bear Picnic.”

“Mooom no,” Theodore whined a little.

“Oh please,” Mom said, begging a little more. “If you do it, I'll let you boys watch a movie and I'll even make up some popcorn for you.”

“We'll do it,” Luke exclaimed, not even waiting a moment for Theodore to agree.

Mom was overjoyed to hear the news and Uncle Rob chuckled a little as he had the tablet in his hand. With some swipes Theodore could hear some music start to play out over the integrated speakers of the house as the rest of the family gathered to watch the performance. Theo knew the song well. His Mom had asked him to perform it on more than one occasion when he had been younger, especially in front of company. Theo had been all the more happy to comply back then. It had always been met with adoring praise and his Mom had always been happy when he would do it. As he looked at her now with her phone out,he couldn't help but feel those same feelings of wanting to do a good job for her.

Luke was already into the performance, singing out the lyrics to the familiar tune with a loud enthusiastic voice – which was about as generous as one could say about the quality of his performance. Luke then fell silent as he looked over expectantly at Theo for the biggest part - the lyrics that they all wanted him to say. Theodore didn't want to do it, but thinking on the promise of watching a movie was too good to pass up - if only to contain Luke from making him do more stuff.

Theodore took a big breath and then sang “Because today’s the day the teddy bears have their pihhc-nic!”

The family clapped as the song came to an end - that was all except Ewan, who looked on with a smug look of disapproval. The whole display was a little too cutesy for the burgeoning teenager, who was much more concerned with appearing more mature than he was.

True to her word, Mom had Luke and Theodore set up in the living room - delivering both of them a bowl of popcorn as she started a movie for them. Luke went to try and feed Theodore again.

“I can do it myself,” Theodore said before grabbing the bowl in-between his paws and eating the popcorn like he was some sort of animal, which elicited some laughter from Luke. After the boys had eaten their popcorn, Luke had glommed onto Theodore, cuddling him as if he really were a stuffed animal.

At one point, Theo looked at Luke who had a dreamy smile on his face as he watched the movie. Theodore then felt the night hadn't been all that bad. He remembered the day before when he had blown Luke off, and the small amount of guilt that he had in doing so.. He remembered Charlie's earlier comment about how Jessica and Ewan never played with Luke like this. Theodore could certainly never imagine Ewan doing anything like this with Luke. It must be hard for an affectionate kid like Luke to have an older brother like Ewan.

As the thought crossed Theodore's mind, he started to feel a guilt ridden knot form in his stomach. Maybe Ewan wasn't the world's greatest big brother, but what kind of big brother had Theodore been to Charlie? He had been magnitudes worse. Adding salt to the wound was how nice Charlie had been to him when their roles had reversed. Why hadn't Charlie resented him the same way Theodore resented him? Surely in this reality, Theodore had been the usurper. The one who had come along and taken away their mother's attention. Just what was going on? Yesterday Charlie had been driven to near hysterics when Theodore and Ewan had taken away the fox stuffie, yet that morning Theodore had woken up with it in his arms - and Charlie didn't seem to care.

Eventually, Theodore had drifted off to a warm fuzzy sleep, only being awoken by his Mom standing over the two boys who had fallen asleep cuddled up with one another.

“Alright you sleepy boys, it's time to get you in a proper bed for the night,” Mom said.

“Can me and Teddy sleep together tonight?” Luke asked, letting out a big yawn.

“Oh, does someone need their teddy bear?” Mom cooed as she gave Luke a poke to his tummy. “I think that's a fine idea. Teddy, you can even keep that costume on - it looks very cozy.”

Theodore grimaced a little, but at this point he couldn't muster any energy to protest as he was feeling very tired. Mom led the boys upstairs before leaving Luke to get ready in his own room as she took Theodore to the bathroom. She helped him out of the costume before hoisting him up onto the counter so she could wipe the paint off his face. When she was done, she let him down so he could use the toilet as she left the room.

She returned with a pull-up in her hand. Theodore had completely forgotten about his “protection”, but upon being reminded he felt another wave of embarrassment hit him. Theodore quickly put it on, not wanting to drag out the process any longer than he had to. Mom then got the costume back on him, before leading him to Luke's room, setting him in the bed where he would be sleeping that night.

Looking around the room that suited the taste of a five year old didn't help Theodore's mood one bit. The fact that he was also wearing a crinkly pair of pull-ups underneath a cuddly bear costume just made him feel all the more babyish. Mom then told Luke to go and use the potty before bedtime, which the boy did without question - leaving Theodore and his Mom alone.

“Teddy, I'm really proud of you.” Mom said. “Luke really looks up to you - so going along and playing like this with him is a really big deal for him.” Mom then sat on the bed pulling Theodore onto her lap as she cuddled him, pulling down the hood so she could stroke his hair.

“Mooom stop,” Theodore whined a little, not wanting anymore coddling.

“Oh hush,” Mom said with a chuckle, “You're growing up so fast that pretty soon you won't let me do this anymore.”

Theodore didn't resist as he nuzzled into her a little. Her affection effectively squashed whatever sort of resistance he had.

“Speaking of which, I kinda wanted to talk with you about this whole growing up business,” she then said.

Theodore gulped a little. This was not a good sign. He had been given more than one of these types of talks in the past. It usually revolved around him having to give up something or take on some new responsibility all in the name of making way for Charlie – all so he could have everything nice and easy. Heck, that had been the whole reason his Mom had shipped him off to Holyoke in the first place. Just so she could put all her attention on meeting Charlie's every need and whim. Some of that resentment began to well up within Theodore.

What was she possibly going to say? He could almost imagine her saying something about how he needed to grow up so Charlie didn't need to watch after him so much, and how taxing it must be on him to pay so much attention to Theo.

“You know I love my favorite cuddly lovey baby boy*.*” she praised mawkishly, her tone so absurdly saccharine and over the top that it was almost nausea inducing. She was certainly being silly (as was only appropriate for the coddled freshly minted baby of her family) - but strangely enough however, as far as he could tell, she was entirely genuine. Theodore looked up at her with baffled blue eyes, completely taken off guard by the unexpected tone. “But you were a bit of a mischievous little monkey today, weren’t you?” she continued.

Thedoore felt his cheeks go hot and his tummy go all fluttery, once more filled with the confusing horrible sense of guilt he’d felt after the incident at the restaurant. He was in trouble again - and he knew it. How could he be so silly? No way it was going to be that easy! Had he really thought that all she’d do was yell a little, sit him on her lap for half an hour, pat him on the head, and he’d be off scott free? Of course not! This was Mom they were talking about! His panicky skittish six-year-old mind began to race with all the terrifying ways he might be punished. Would she ground him? Spank him? Send him off to some sterile sanitary-smelling institution again? He heard an involuntary squeak emanate unbidden from his lips, realizing he was actually shaking in fear.

“I’m sorry Mommy!” he found himself crying, twisting around to show her his big blue begging eyes and clinging on as tight as he could to her arm for dear life. “Please don’t send me away!”

Mom looked completely baffled, but soon began to comfortingly rub his back - trying to soothe the shuddering six year old. “Don’t be silly.” she cooed. “Why would I ever send you away?”

Theodore blushed, suddenly seeming to realize how irrational he had been. Was there even such a thing as a boarding school for first graders? He gulped, still feeling strangely guilty. “Because I was naughty…” he squeaked.

“You are too cute. But I think you’ve been watching too many cartoons. I’m not sending you to military school..” Mom showed him an adoring smirk, before adopting a more serious tone. “Teddy, I would never give up on you. You’re my baby.” she told him. Theodore felt his heart go all fluttery for a moment, but tried to disguise his relief and elation, maintaining a worried pouty frown. “I know you’ve got lots of energy, but I just need you to try and listen a little better to your brother and I - especially now you're such a big boy.” she explained calmly. “Do you think you can be a big boy and listen?”

Theo blinked a few times, barely even processing the rest of what his Mom was saying. He felt so confused. Mom had sounded so genuine and caring, so certain she would never give up on him. To the six year old Theo, it was like a million warm cuddles all at once. But somehow it was still tainted, her comforting words censored and blotted out by the undeniable truth the eighteen-year-old Theo still knew. She would give up on him. She would send me away. One day. She’d already done it once.

“Earth to Teddy!” Mom teased, prodding his tummy. “Are you listening, baby bear?”

“Yes, mommy…” Teddy finally replied, though his tone was full of melancholy. He began to wriggle uncomfortably in her lap, just wanting to be by himself. “Can you put me down now?” he whined.

“Of course, sweetie. You’re growing up so fast!” Mom conceded, laying him down gently on Luke’s bed. He could hear the boy himself giggling further down the hall, apparently engaged in some kind of silly pre-bed time ritual with his own Dad. “Have sweet dreams.” Mom told him. “I’m sure you’ll be an even bigger boy in the morning.”

Theodore mumbled his assent, turning his head away and nuzzling into the pillow as he felt his eyelids growing heavy. He wasn’t so sure of that himself.