Chapter Eleven

Theo gripped the violin stem tight in his fist, anger and fear bubbling around in his stomach producing a horrible concoction of anxiety and angst. He glared up at his mother, her warm enthusiastic smile only infuriating him further. Perhaps she had been the one who had done this to him? It would be just like her, after all! Concocting some crazy scheme with Uncle Rob, and Jessica, and the tech in the house to teach him a lesson. To try and teach him gratitude for sending him away. To humiliate him, and shame him, and rub his nose in his own mess like a potty training puppy all to try and convince him that she’d been right all along! That he was better off growing up into the perfect performer obediently scratching out tunes on stage so she could brag to her friends!

Well he wasn’t going to fall for it! There was no way he was going back to Holyoke. He didn’t care what the consequences were. He’d rather pee the bed; he’d rather go back to being six again; he’d rather that he never grew up at all! He jumped to his feet, trying to hold back the tears threatening to torrent forth from the corners of his eyes. He thrust the violin hatefully towards her.

“I don’t want it.” he growled, barely able to bring himself to look her in the eyes.

His mother’s face fell at once. “What?” she said. “What on earth do you-”

“I SAID I DON’T WANT IT!” Theodore screamed, now brandishing the violin like a cave man’s club.

Mom adopted a stern expression. “Thedoore.” she scolded. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I don’t want to play violin, and I don’t want to go to Holyoke, and I don’t want to do ANYTHING just because you say I have to!” Theodore continued, the words flowing off his tongue unbidden like water breaking through an old dilapidated dam.

He didn’t have time to register his mom’s reaction, starting to feel the first tears starting to stream down his cheek. Where had that come from? He hadn’t felt even close to tears a second ago. He turned away in shame, hiding his face and uncaringly shoving the violin towards his mother, unleashing his grip. There was a discordant thwunk as the instrument clattered to the ground, one of the string twinging loose.

“Theodore!” his mother exclaimed in horror. “Look what you’ve done!”

“No!” Theo whined, although he was immediately overcome with guilt. It had sounded like Mom really had spent quite a lot of money on the thing. Why had he been so reckless? He began to feel the same terrible dread of getting into trouble he had felt at six, his unregulated preteen poutiness only adding to his emotional turmoil. He started to hyperventilate, completely overwhelmed by the whole situation.

Mom grabbed him by the shoulder, prying his hands away from his eyes and forcing him to look down through blurry tear stained eyes at the damage he’d done. Although not completely destroyed, the instrument would certainly require some repairs. “What on earth has come over you?” Mom demanded. “You’re acting like a spoiled toddler!”

Theo kept on sniffling, hiccupping, and hurriedly breathing in and out - barely able to string a sentence together. “J-just punish me!” he wailed. “I don’t care. I just don’t w-wanna go to Holyoke!”

Mom looked completely baffled, seemingly taken totally off guard by her older (yet certainly more sensitive) boy’s unexplained bout of uncontrollable tears. Theo was half expecting her to take him across her knee and give him a spanking right there in the store, but no such fury was forthcoming - Mom’s disapproving stern glare softening to a mere bemused frown.

Meanwhile, Uncle Rob had gently retrieved the violin from the floor, inspecting the damage. “It’s alright.” he commented in an unbothered tone, clearly trying to calm the tense situation “Certainly not beyond repair.”

“That’s not the point.” Mom argued, putting a firm hand on the boy’s shoulder and looking him in the eyes. “Theodore, this is going to be very expensive! You’re not a little boy anymore. You can’t throw tantrums every time you get a little upset.”

Theo blinked back some of his tears, slowly managing to get his breath back. “I’m s-sorry! But I don’t wanna go to-” He stopped, his emotions overwhelming him again at the thought of actually going back there. He hid his face behind his hands.

To his great surprise, Mom pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay, sweetie.” she said comfortingly into his ear. “It’s okay. We don’t have to make any decision about that for another three years.” she reassured him.

“Oh…oh-kay…” Theodore answered in a quivering voice. “I just don’t w-wanna h-have to go away.” he continued to gush, feeling as small and vulnerable as a tiny baby bird.

Jessica let out a barely audible coo of adoration, clearly concluding that the sudden temper tantrum was brought on by nothing more than childish anxiety at moving away from Mommy. Extremely embarrassed, Theodore pulled away from his mother’s embrace, wiping his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he repeated, looking away.

“It’s alright.” Mom said. “I understand. You’ve always been a worrier.” She showed him a stern finger. “But don’t think you’re not in trouble.”

“Yeah…” Theodore squeaked.

“Tell you what.” Uncle Rob interjected. “Maybe Teddy can come around and help me out in the computer lab the next couple of weekends. Pay off the repairs in no time.”

Mom gave him a skeptical glance. “You really don’t have to-”

“It’s alright. I want to.” Uncle Rob interrupted, packing the damaged violin away in its case. “How does that sound, buddy?”

“Fine…” Theodore said dejectedly, letting out a petulant preteen sigh. It was only a moment later that he fully processed what Uncle Rob was saying. If he could get a peak in his lab, maybe he could finally get a lead on what was making him change! He perked up, offering a hopeful grin. “Can I look in the lab when we get home?” he asked.

“Teddy - this is meant to be a punishment.” Mom interjected. “Don’t think you’ll just be spinning around in office chairs and playing mad scientist.”

Uncle Rob chuckled. “Don’t worry.” he said, putting a beefy hand on top of Theodore’s mop of silky curls. “There’s plenty of dusting to do.” He offered a big smile. “Shall we get going?” he proposed. “We are meant to be celebrating, after all.”

Mom sighed. “Well, I suppose there’s no use ruining the whole day.” she agreed. “Teddy - hold my hand.” she demanded. “I don’t want you wandering off and breaking anything else.”

Theo gumbled, but complied. “Can’t we just go home?” he asked, now dead set on getting into Uncle Rob’s computer lab.

“Don’t you remember?” Uncle Rob reminded him. “We’ve got tickets for the fun fair.”

Theodore bit his lip anxiously, acutely aware of the hours of the day slowly draining away. “Oh…” he said as they turned the corner to find Ewan, Charlie and Luke all messing around near the electric guitar display. His now older cousin smirked at the sight of him clutching his mother’s hand like an obedient little kid, his cheeks red and stained with tears.Theodore just hoped he could get through the experience without yet another humiliation.

***

The air was filled with the sounds of excited shouts mixed in with blaring music being played out of speakers. Each played their own tune that melded into one sonic sludge with the undercurrent of the sounds of machinery whirring – the fair was in full effect.

As Theodore walked around with the rest of his family however, his mind was a thousand miles away. He was recalling the incident at the music store. He felt so foolish at how he had acted. His Mom's words about acting like a spoiled toddler hit him too hard – especially since he might actually end up as a toddler if he couldn’t fix this. Then again, he felt there had been some sort of breakthrough between him and his Mother. Strange enough as the situation was, he had once again made known his wish to not go to Holyoke, and it seemed like his Mom had actually heard him. If only he had been able to do that in his real life, then perhaps things would have been different.

The adults decided the first order of business would be to get some food, much to the complaining of the kids, Theodore not included, who were far more preoccupied with wanting to get on the rides. Having come to the collection of food stalls, Theodore was surprised when his Mom turned to him - giving him some money to go and choose whatever he wanted.

“You can handle getting your own food, right?” Mom asked.

“Of course.” Theodore said eagerly, taking the money before starting to rush off.

“Hang on,” his Mom said, grabbing him by the arm. “Get yourself some actual food and not just candy.” she reminded him.

“I got it,” Theo said as he bounded into the fray of waiting patrons.

He looked around, trying to decide what he was hungry for. He was filled with a sense of excitement at having a bit of independence - something that had been severely lacking in his life over the past two days. He looked over and saw his Mom and Charlie at the front of another food stand. She was ordering something while Charlie stood a little behind her with a pout on his face. Theodore felt a small feeling of superiority. Maybe things were more normal than he had anticipated? Charlie, now back to being the younger of the two of them, was once again thought of as the more immature and less responsible kid, their Mom not trusting him far enough to get his own food - not like she trusted Theo.

Theo ordered himself a burger and some fries along with an extra large soda. He then went ahead and ordered a large bucket of popcorn with the rest of the money his Mom had given him. He sat down at the picnic table that everyone else was already at. He looked across to see Charlie staring glumly at the food in front of him - a hot dog and a small drink.

“You got a big one…” Charlie mewled, seeing the large soda Theo had gotten in its oversized plastic commemorative cup dwarfing Charlie's own small paper cup “And popcorn…”

Theo smirked. He was pleased to see Charlie so jealous, especially recalling how the kid had overridden his drink order at the restaurant the previous day. Still, Theo did feel a little pity.

“You can have some.” Theo said, pushing the bucket of popcorn towards his brother.

Theodore could at least give Charlie that - he supposed he did owe him for getting him out of trouble with the bullies the previous day, after all. Charlie's face lit up as he dug into the popcorn, but was instantly stopped by Mom.

“Charlie no popcorn until after you eat that hotdog.” Mom reprimanded. Charlie groaned, letting the handful of popcorn fall from his hand, but Mom soon turned her attention on Theo.

“Theo, an extra large soda?” she said with a raised eyebrow. “You know how I feel about all that sugar and caffeine.”

“I'm celebrating.” Theo shrugged with mock innocence.

“I suppose…” she said with a roll of her eyes, walking off to the far end of the table without another word.

Ewan sat next to Theo, a map of the fairgrounds spread out before him. He was using a pen to circle spots on it.

“What are you doing?” Theo asked.

“Picking out the best rides.” Ewan said as he circled another spot. “I was thinking we start with the bumper cars, then we can hit up the roller coaster, and then we definitely have to check out The Twister. Then I guess we can finish up in the midway.”

Theo didn’t respond.He was a little skeptical that Ewan was actually going to be able to get to all of the rides he’d listed. The strangest thing of all though was it sounded like Ewan expected Theo to go with him. He had thought that Ewan and Charlie would stick together and exclude him, as it had seemed they had done all day.

“You're not like scared of the rides, are you?” Ewan asked, clearly ready to pounce on Theo if he showed any form of fear.

“No, of course not,” Theo countered assertively. Ewan nodded, satisfied, before he started to dig in to the nachos he had gotten for himself.

“I want to ride the roller coaster!” Luke piped up. Ewan just wrinkled his nose at him.

“You're not coming with us.” He sneered.

“But I wanna go too!” Luke said with a pout.

“You're too little for these rides.” Ewan shot back. “They wouldn't let you on.”

Luke looked completely crestfallen at the news that he wouldn’t be able to go along with his big brother. His bottom lip stuck out, quivering a little.

“Don't worry Lukey.” Jessica said, cuddling her little brother as she shot a dirty look at Ewan. “I'm sure we can find plenty of fun things for you to do.”

“Can we ride the merry go round?” Luke asked. Jessica agreed at once, which seemed to satisfy Luke enough to stop his pouting. Theo ate his food and downed the entire soda in quick succession, eager to join with Ewan as quickly as possible. As soon as everyone had eaten their food, Ewan, Theo, and Charlie were up and raring to go.

Uncle Rob and Mom distributed wristband passes to the kids, before Uncle Rob gave Ewan some cash for games and more food if the boys wanted it - with a strict edict to his son that he was to distribute it evenly among the three of them. Meanwhile, Mom was wiping a little ketchup stain from Charlie's face, the younger boy squirming in embarrassment

“Now, you two remember that Ewan is in charge, and you are to stick together.” Mom instructed. “And Ewan, I expect you to be responsible and keep yourselves out of trouble.”

“Oh don't worry Aunt Deborah,” Ewan said as he put an arm around both Theo and Charlie's necks, pulling them so close to himself that the tops of their heads were touching. “I'll make sure these two rascals stay safe.” Mom smirked as Theo and Charlie both pulled out of their cousins grasp.

Theo felt a little angry to find himself under the authority of his cousin. They were only a year apart currently, not to mention that Theodore knew he was the more responsible and mature of the two - since he still had the brain of an eighteen year old. Yet he wasn't about to throw a fit about it. It was leaps and bounds better than yesterday, when Charlie had been in charge of him at the restaurant. It was a step in the right direction at least.

The boys then raced off towards their first destination at the bumper cars. Theo was surprised with himself that he was going along with all this. The idea of just going around and riding the attractions was filling him with excitement. He decided not to dwell on it all that much. The past few days had been a whirlwind of stress and anxiety - he owed it to himself to try and have some fun. Besides, carnival rides weren't only for kids. Adults rode them too, so what was the big deal?

Theo had a blast on the bumper cars, crashing into the other drivers at full speed. At one moment, Theo and Charlie had even teamed up and sandwiched Ewan - giggling mischievously at the bigger boy’s frustrated whining as he tried to maneuver himself free.

As they were standing in line for the roller-coaster, Theo found himself joining in on Charlie and Ewan's conversation about Pokemon and video-games and youtubers they liked with enthusiasm, completely forgetting his real age. It actually surprised Theo just how well he was able to keep up. Sure, he wasn't exactly current with all the stuff that Charlie and Ewan were, but that didn't deter Theo in the slightest. It all just felt so natural. Theo was genuinely having a good time. He was learning the truth behind the phrase ‘you don't know what you got till it's gone’, the small shred of independence feeling larger and more pronounced than it actually was. Getting to go around the fair with his little brother and cousin without parental supervision was invigorating, making yesterday feel like just a bad dream.

At one point, Ewan told the boys a dirty joke he had heard from some older kid at school. At eighteen, Theo would have found the joke kind of immature and also wildly inaccurate in its set up. Yet at eleven it seemed thrilling to hear and uproariously funny. Charlie, on the other hand, had a muddled expression on his face.

“I don't get it.” he said, looking from Theo to Ewan in confusion- hoping one of them would explain it to him.

“You'll understand when you're older,” Ewan said, patting Charlie on the head condescendingly.

“I'll explain it to you later.” Theo promised, feeling a smug sense of self satisfaction that he and Ewan were old enough to have access to some trove of knowledge that Charlie had not yet attained.

After the roller coaster, the boys made their way to theTwister. After getting through the queue, the boys took their seats. There were three seats to each car. In the middle was a wheel on a pedestal, which could be spun to make the car spin faster.

“Lets see how fast we can get this thing going,” Ewan said as the arms of the ride raised their car into the air. Theo and Charlie smiled as they all gripped onto the wheel, more than happy to go along with Ewan's plan. As the ride started to go around, the boys spun the wheel as fast as they could. The surroundings turned into a blur around them. They were all laughing maniacally as they picked up speed. About a minute into the ride, Theo started to feel himself getting a little nauseous - the feast he had just treated himself to about thirty minutes ago not sitting so well in his stomach. He didn't want to say anything though. The last thing he wanted was Ewan thinking he was in any way uncool. Thankfully, the ride was coming to an end, the spinning of the car starting to slow and the arms lowering them to the ground.

As the ride came to a stop, Theo noticed Charlie’s arms were hanging loosely at his sides and he was slumped back into his seat. His head was slowly rocking from side to side, and his face looked pale.

“Charlie, you alright?” Theo asked, looking nervously at his little brother. Charlie made no response, only gazing up at the other two boys with a dazed look.

“Uh oh.” Ewan said, clenching his teeth in a wary look. The boys got out of the car as it came to a complete stop. Theo had a hand on Charlie's back, the boy stumbling a little as they walked away.

“Charlie, you need to sit down?” Theodore asked. He took on a more caring demeanor, his boyish enthusiasm melting away .

“I'm gonna- '' Charlie began to say, before his hand shot up to cover his mouth. Theodore's eyes widened. He looked around and saw a metal barrel that was being used as a trash can. He hurriedly led Charlie over to it, having him put his head over it – and not a moment too soon. Charlie let out a pained retch. Theodore rubbed his back as he looked away with wince. After another couple of seconds, Charlie lifted his head up with a moan. Theodore patted him on the back, thankful that at least the color had returned to his brother's face.

“Eughh, he actually barfed,” Ewan snickered, his nose wrinkled in disgust. w
“What are we going to do?” Theo asked, panicking a little. Charlie was in bad shape and Theo was feeling just a little overwhelmed by it all. He didn't have the faintest idea of what they could do to make him feel better.

“Relax.” Ewan said, rolling his eyes as if Theo was making a big deal out of nothing. He made a couple of swipes to the watch on his wrist, before Theo could hear the voice of their Uncle coming out of it.

Theo didn't hear the rest of the conversation, reserving all of his attention for Charlie - who was staring off into space with a woozy look. Ewan came back over, motioning for them to follow. They walked over to another area where vendors were set up. Nearby one of the tents, they were met by Uncle Rob and Mom. Theo felt some anxiety as his Mom marched up to them. He braced himself for the incoming lecture. Surely his Mom would blame him for the incident? However, Mom did no such thing. Instead, she just gathered Charlie up to her side and began to stroke his hair.

“Had a little too much fun hmm?” she chuckled. Charlie groaned as he let his head slump against her side. “Rob, can you go buy a bottle of water?” she asked. Uncle Rob gave her a thumbs up before walking off. “C'mon let's go sit,” Mom said as she led Charlie over to a bench. Theo followed like a lost little puppy, still convinced that he was in some sort of trouble. Mom didn't say anything as she continued to stroke Charlie’s head as he rested against her with his eyes closed.

“I'm sorry!” Theo yelped out suddenly, not being able to take the waiting anymore. Mom looked at him with a confused look.

“Sorry for what?” Mom asked, cocking her head to the side.

“For getting Charlie sick,” Theo said, figuring she wanted him to say it himself - just to hammer home the point that he’d been in the wrong. That would be just like her, after all.

But Mom simply chuckled.“Charlie isn't sick dear, he will be perfectly fine in a minute or two,” She said with a reassuring smile.

“You mean you're not mad?” Theo asked. Surely she had to be pulling his leg?This seemed just like the kind of thing she would blame him for! Theo had let her precious little baby get so sick he had puked!

“Not at all.” Mom said. “These things happen. In fact, I'm very proud of you. “You did a good job of taking care of him, and getting him back to us,” Mom went on. “That's exactly what I would expect of you as his older brother. It was very responsible.”

Theo did a double take. He felt a little shimmer of pride at being called ‘responsible’. In fact, as far as Theo could remember, it was the first time she had ever praised him like that. Theo paused.That couldn't be right, could it? Theo and Charlie had never been close, but surely this wasn't the first time he had ever shown the kid some care and kindness?

Uncle Rob returned with a bottle of water. Charlie took a couple of small sips. Mom then had him lean forward as she poured some water over his head - just to help him cool down a little.

“We were going to do the haunted house next.” Ewan said, sounding rather frustrated. “You should be able to handle that, right Charlie? I mean there's no spinning or anything.”

Charlie looked up nervously. Theo knew that Charlie didn't do well with stuff like that. He remembered one of the rare times Theo had been home, and had decided to watch a movie with Charlie. He’d put on a horror movie he had been eager to see. Charlie hadn't wanted to, but Theo had pretty much ignored his protest. They hadn't made it far into the movie. The first jump scare had sent the kid screaming out of the room, and earned Theo an earful from Mom about what were appropriate movies to watch with his little brother.

Just as Theo had predicted, Charlie tensed up at Ewan's proposition, but he didn’t say no. Theo figured he didn't want to admit to Ewan he was scared.

“Why don't you guys go on ahead?” Mom said with a smile, sensing Charlie's apprehension. “Charlie will meet up with you when he’s feeling better.”

“Works for me,” Ewan said with a shrug as he started to walk off. Theo caught up with Ewan and they got into line for the haunted house attraction. “Are you scared?” Ewan asked, noticing the worried look on Theo's face.

“Huh?” Theo asked, a little flummoxed. “No, I was just worried about Charlie is all.”

“He sure got sick,” Ewan remarked. “Guess I should have known delicate little Charlie's tummy couldn't handle a little spinning.”

“It's not his fault,” Theo said, furrowing his brow. He was surprised to hear Ewan talk about Charlie like this. Theo had been sure that Ewan had favored him in this reality. “We were going really fast, it could have happened to anyone.” Theo said defensively. Ewan just frowned, looking vaguely disappointed that Theo hadn’t joined in on the teasing. The boys fell silent as they waited in the line.

After a while they were nearing the front - but another problem arose for Theo as he was finding himself increasingly needing to go to the bathroom. He cursed himself for getting the biggest soda he could, and doubly cursed himself for drinking the whole thing in such a short span of time.

“What's with you?” Ewan asked, noticing Theo’s jittery fidgeting on the spot.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Theo said with some urgency. Ewan looked around, rolling his eyes.

“We're at the front of the line already!Can't you hold it?” Theo straightened himself up a little, Ewan's comment making him somewhat self-conscious of how he was behaving. Of course he could hold it. He wasn't some snot nosed little kid! But then again, he had wet the bed that morning…

Play it safe. The haunted house can wait.
Try and hold it