Chapter Sixteen

“I'm not a cow!” Theo shouted, seeing red as launched himself at Luke - causing both boys to fall over onto the wood chips, tussling about. Theo felt himself pulled off, looking behind to see Charlie had him restrained as he pulled Theo against himself. Ewan had come over, seeing the commotion, and helped a surprised and shaken Luke off the ground - dusting some of the bits of wood chip off of him.

“Teddy, that wasn't very nice.” Charlie said, a little taken aback. “Apologize to Luke right now.”

“No!” Theo screamed. Luke deserved it and more. It was his stupid sweater that had embarrassed him at the middle school graduation, and it was Luke's big ideas that had seen him put into all sorts of embarrassing outfits and scenarios. Theo was positively at his wits end with the kid.

“Fine, guess we're doing it the hard way.” Charlie grabbed Theo under the armpits. Yet he wasn't actually strong enough to lift him up and carry him, especially while Theo was thrashing about. Charlie instead dragged him from behind as Theo continued to squirm and kick his feet until Charlie hoisted him onto a bench.

“You're going to sit on this bench and not get up for five minutes,” Charlie said as he took the receiver off his hip and began to fiddle with the touchscreen.

“You can't tell me what to do!” Theo growled back as he went to get off the bench, but found himself stopped by the same force that had held him back earlier. Theo was confused for a moment before he looked down at the harness across his chest. “You can't –” Theo began.

“You are on timeout, so either you can sit quietly or I'll have to give you more time - and if that's not enough I'll go get Mom.” Charlie stated authoritatively, crossing his arms in a posture that showed Theo he was completely serious.

Theo stood up defiantly on top of the bench. He toddled over to each side, testing the perimeter and even trying to go over the back - but he was stopped at every turn. Theo couldn't believe it. Charlie, his younger brother had actually managed to confine him onto the bench. He was on a timeout, all but confined to the naughty step, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Theo fell back on to his butt as he was overcome with a feeling of abject powerlessness mixed with anger. His face crumpled as he began to loudly wail, not able to stop himself.

Charlie turned his back to stop himself from being swayed by the sight of his crying brother, and also to show Theo that no amount of pity seeking behavior would be tolerated. Theo's crying lasted for only a minute before subsiding into a sequence of mewling whimpers and sniffles. After the five minutes was up, Charlie sat on the bench next to Teddy, putting a comforting arm around him. Theo let himself slump against Charlie's side, completely exhausted from his tantrum.

“I'm sorry Teddy, I know that wasn't fun,” Charlie said. “But you know why I had to do that, right?”

“But he m-made me m-mad,” Theo winged, finding it hard to even speak.

“I know, but just because someone makes you mad it doesn't mean you can hurt them - you have to use your words.” Charlie said. “Remember - you're a big boy now, you gotta act your age.”

Theo's eyes went wide. The words “act your age” resounded in his mind, along with other terms such as “diagnostics”, “pending”...and “user Charlie Parks.” Theo tried to recount what had happened last night - not the night he had been eleven, or six, or even fourteen, but the night he had arrived at the house when he had been eighteen. For some reason, Theo could only surmise that the answer was somehow in there. Something had happened that night that had set all of this off.

“What did you do?” Theo asked, shooting up into a sitting position as he looked at Charlie with a bewildered look. Charlie only looked back confused. “Last night you said something, what did you say?”

Charlie looked back thoughtfully, before shaking his head.

“Say?” Charlie asked. “What are you talking about?”

“Try to remember last night!” Theo whined, speaking with a seriousness and an urgency that belied his apparent age.

“Well we got to Uncle Rob's house late, and so we went to sleep right away…” Charlie began to recount.

“No, we had a fight!,” Theo interjected, grabbing onto Charlie's shirt as if to shake him from whatever false narrative was in his head.

“You mean you fought with Mom.” Charlie said. “Because they only had that old crib for you to sleep in…” Charlie chuckled.

“That's not right!” Theo said as his heart beat fast - he could feel it, there was something here. “You said something to me.”

“I didn't say anything to you,” Charlie said. “By the time I put on my pajamas and came back into the room you were already asleep.”

Theo sat back on his feet. That just couldn't be. Something had happened, yet even as sure as Theo was he couldn't fight back the creeping doubt that he was grasping at straws. What was happening to him was far too big to just be the result of some off-handed comment uttered in the heat of an argument. Thousands of words were uttered in that house every single day, and yet nothing to Theo's knowledge had ever happened like this.. Theo was about to question Charlie more, to try and get him to remember something, yet he stopped as a more worrying feeling overtook him. It had come on fast again - and seemingly out of nowhere.

“You okay Teddy?” Charlie asked, noticing the instant change in Theo's expression to one of panic.

“I need to go potty,” Teddy blurted out as he shot to his feet, unable to stop himself from hopping from one foot to the other.

“Let's hurry then.” Charlie said, taking off towards the bathrooms hurriedly in an effort to get his little brother to the toilet before he had an accident. Unbeknownst to both boys however, the tether function of the reins activated on its own as Charlie outpaced Theo, who now could feel himself being pulled along. Theo tried to keep up, yet the pulling of the leash along with his awkward steps while he tried to run in his boots was too much for his degraded sense of balance, a small dip in the grass was all it took to send Theo tumbling onto the ground - face planting hard. That's when Theo felt it.

The sudden shock of the fall had been enough to break the dam, and as Theo got into a seated position he could feel the warmth spread through his underwear before soaking through to his pants and spreading up his backside.

Charlie turned to see Theo sitting on the ground looking down at his crotch, his mouth hung open a little. Charlie doubled back, and a look of concern came to his face. It was too late.

“Oh Teddy…” Charlie said, taking a knee next to Theo as he rubbed his back. Theo looked up at Charlie, blinking as fresh tears came to his eyes.

“My pants are wet…,” Theo moaned, his voice quivering in shame.

“Looks like you had an accident.” Charlie said, trying his best to appear supportive to try and stop Theo from breaking down into another meltdown. Just then, the watch on Theo's wrist rumbled to life once again.

“Uh-oh! Did you go wee-wee?” Buddy Bunny asked. “Don’t worry, accidents happen!” The watch began to play the same cheerful tune - thought this time with lyrics about how accidents happen. Mom came walking up a few moments later. She looked down at Teddy with a gentle smile and an expression that seemed to suggest that she was none too surprised.

“Let's get you cleaned up,” she said, plucking Theo off the ground before she carried him across the lawn of the park. Theo was crying very loudly now, drawing the attention of all the people they passed by - who could all see clearly what he had done.

“M-m-mommy…” Theo found himself whinging, lips quivering pathetically as his frazzled three-year-old brain tried to process the supremely humiliating sensation in his pants. At least at eleven he’d had some semblance of emotional regulation to mitigate the embarrassment, but now all that Theo could feel was that his entire world was ending. He’d peed himself - just like a baby. He was supposed to be a big boy! “Mooooommmy!” he cried, desperate for comfort as she sat him down gently on the nearby bench.

To make matters worse, all the crying, and whining and snotty-faced hiccupping soon attracted the attention of Luke and Mason. Abandoning their game on the playground, the two curious boys approached the bench.

“Did he pee himself already?” Luke asked, hardly holding back a superior snigger.

“It’s just a little oopsie.” Mom responded neutrally, opening up her bag to produce a roll-up travel changing matt decorated with playful orange foxes against a forest green background. She reorientated Teddy on the bench, pushing a strong hand against his chest to force him to lay down. “It’s not a big deal.”

Mason looked equally amused. “He’s not even potty trained?” he asked with a smirk.

“Nope.” Luke reported. “He was trying to be a big boy, but I guess he still needs diapers.”

“Like a baby.” Mason pointed out.

“Yeah, like a baby.” Luke echoed.

Despite his vulnerable emotional state, the boys’ presence once again enraged the sobbing three-year-old. Kept lying flat against the changing table by his mother’s hand however, there was nothing he could do but scream. At three years old however, he was rather good at screaming.

“GO AWAY!” He bellowed, his face puffing up like a red hot tomato.

The boys just tittered, seemingly even more amused by his rather babyish outburst.

“I SAID GO AWAAAAAY!” he continued to shriek, now writhing around wildly under his mother’s grip like a feral kitten. He kicked, and scratched, and fidgeted, but Mom knew what she was doing and it was all for nothing - the boy remaining steadfastly in place with his butt stuck on the changing mat. In fact, all his wriggling only served to make the sodden soggy material of his underwear rub uncomfortably against his legs, but he didn’t care - just desperate for the interfering pair of five-year-olds to get out of his face.

“Why is he so whiny?” Mason commented, covering his ears, but he didn’t look particularly uncomfortable.

“Boys, I think it's for the best if you give Teddy some space.” Mom intervened, talking in a quiet calming voice.

“Why?” Luke asked innocently. “Can’t we help?”

“Yeah! I know how to change a baby. My Mom lets me help with my little sister.”

“No!” Theo objected at once, reinvigorating his useless efforts. “NO NO NO!”

“He’s feeling a little grumpy and sad.” Mom explained. “Why don’t you go and play with Charlie?” she suggested, pointing over to where Theodore’s former little brother was chatting to Ewan on the swings.

The boys looked a little disappointed, but acquiesced, wandering away out of view. With the threat of that particular humiliation out of the way, Theodore managed to calm down a little, but he was still very upset - breathing rapidly in and out. The situation was simply intolerable. There he was, in the middle of a public park, wearing a ridiculous hodge-podged together cowboy outfit, sodden wet underwear between his legs, with his Mom preparing to pull down his pants! The outrage of his eighteen-year-old brain collided with the pure chaos of his three-year-old emotional state, a high-pitched sustained whine coming out of his mouth and tears starting to gather in the corner of his eyes.

Somehow, in the back of his mind, a still fully cognizant part of Theodore couldn’t help but feel this was all his own fault. Charlie had been right. He’d been acting like a little brat, taking out all his own personal grudges and vendettas. Even at eighteen, he’d been a terror: he was a constant pain to his Mom; he’d ignored his cousins; he’d been a terrible brother to Charlie. He hadn’t acted any better over the past few days, either. His toddler mind wasn’t capable of any more advanced reasoning, but at that moment Teddy knew that was why all of this had happened. He’d made the wrong choices, he hadn’t acted his age, and now he was right where he deserved. He only wished he’d worked it out sooner. The thought was hardly comforting.

“It’s okay, teddy bear. It’s alright.” Mom comforted him, her soft hand gently rubbing his shoulder. “Mommy’s just going to get you out of those soggy undies, and into a nice fresh diaper - alright?” she narrated.

“N-n-noooooo.” Teddy objected through a cascade of stuttering sniffles and huffs. Even as he prepared himself for another desperate fight however, his Mommy’s gentle touch seemed to deflate all the energy out of him. “No Mommy…no diaper…” he managed to croak all the same.

“Oh, Teddy.” Mom commiserated, taking the thick crinkly pair of Winnie the Pooh themed Huggies out of her bag and laying it beside him on the changing mat as she began to carefully roll up his cow pattern t-shirt and vest, laying a soft moisturized hand on his bare belly. “I’m sorry, my sweet baby boy.” she said earnestly. “This is all my fault.”

Theodore blinked in confusion, taken off guard by the bizarre remark. How was it his Mom’s fault? He was the one who’d said all those hurtful things, who’d acted like an entitled stroppy toddler, who’d peed his stupid pants! He sniffled, looking up at his Mom with big wide sorrowful blue eyes. “I’m sorry Mommy…” he whined.

“You don’t have to be.” Mom reassured him. “I was pushing you too hard. And I shouldn’t have.” She smiled. “You weren’t ready. I should have let you grow up at your own pace.” She started to pull down his shorts, patting his thighs. “Now. Let’s get you in that diaper, shall we?”

The three-year-old felt himself freeze up, the wind stinging at his bare thighs. Somehow, Theodore got the feeling that the current moment was supremely important - as if whatever he decided to do would have implications far beyond the crinkliness of his underwear. He sniffled, turning his head to glance at Ewan, and Luke, and Charlie all chatting happily together near the playground equipment. The idea of putting on the diaper still felt so strange and alien and horrible to him, the most extreme iteration of the creeping regression he’d been fighting against all these past days, but at the same time the idea of going on fighting felt even more horrible. Did he even deserve to be big again?

Insist on no diaper
Don’t resist