Chapter Seven

He knew he had no choice. Theodore gritted his teeth.

“C-Charlie,” he squeaked out. Charlie looked up for a moment, not realizing what he was seeing, before his eyes went wide. A minute later he was sprinting down the hall.

“Stop that,” Charlie barked. The other boys stopped their assault, turning towards Charlie.

“Or what,” the rat tailed boy chortled. Even though Charlie was a little bigger than them, that didn't seem to deter the small tormentors. They had the numbers.

“Try me,” Charlie growled, delivering a hard shove to the rat tailed boy. The boy with the shaved head shirked back a little upon being met with some resistance. The rat tail boy, to his credit, straightened himself up before telling his co conspirator that this was lame - not able to hide the nervousness in his face replacing the confidence that had been there moments before. Both of the boys sulked off.

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked, kneeling down in front of Theodore with a concerned look on his face.

“Y-yeah,” Theodore said, still a little shaken up

“What are you doing out here anyway?” Charlie asked, cocking his head a little.

“Going to the bathroom,” Theodore mumbled.

“Oh, well c'mon I'll take you.” Charlie said, nodding his head as he outstretched his hand. Theodore wanted nothing more to slap his brother's hand away and tell him to buzz off. Theodore then looked to the side noticing the other two boys were still hovering a little ways off. Theodore knew he had no other options if he wanted to avoid further trouble. He took Charlie's hand as they walked down the hall. Theodore couldn't help but sniffle a little.

“Don't worry, those guys won't bother you anymore.” Charlie said, giving Theodore's hand a little squeeze. “Your big brother will protect you.”

***

13:15

Theodore was sure that if he was actually six, a trip to Riley’s Rocking Grill would have been a real treat. As things stood however, dumped at the kids table with just the slightest humiliating dampness still nagging uncomfortably in his underpants, all the former eighteen year old could focus on was his new impossibly diminished status.

The kids, Theodore now unquestionably included in their ranks, had got a booth to themselves. Unlike yesterday, Ewan seemed perfectly content to befriend Charlie, happily chattering away with him about the Pokemon game he’d played with Theodore the night before. Of course, in this new version of reality, that evening was still a good couple of hours away - and it seemed very unlikely to include the newly minted six-year-old. Far from plotting a prank on the sensitive ten-year-old, Charlie and Ewan were now the best of friends, and it was instead Theodore who was considered the immature one. Any attempt to join in the ‘big boy’ conversation met with condescending placations from Charlie, and outright hostility from Ewan.

“Can you just stop bothering us?” his new big cousin demanded when he tried to butt in with his own thoughts. “Like, I bet you haven’t even played it.”

“I have too!” Theodore found himself objecting, almost on instinct. He cringed at the sound of his own whiny petulant tone.

“Suuuure.” Ewan mocked, rolling his eyes. He turned to Charlie, as if eager to confirm that his beloved game wasn’t also the pastime of an annoying fussy momma’s boy like Teddy. “He hasn’t, right?”

Charlie gave Theodore a sympathetic look, but ultimately confirmed the truth. “Mom doesn’t really like him to have too much screen time.” he dismissed.

Ewan laughed, reveling in the opportunity to tease the little boy. “I guess it’s all Sesame Street story books for you, huh?”

Theodore scrunched up his little fists, pudgy cheeks going bright red. He showed Ewan a deathly stare, all but ready to jump up and whack him in his stupid smug face, but he didn’t have time to act before the server appeared.

A young man dressed in an absurd red and white pinstripe apron bejeweled with about a dozen buttons and pins featuring various silly slogans, the server bore a plastic grin and a paper notepad. “Alrighty, gang!” he enthused with an exhausting energy, crouching down at the table so that he was at their level. “Welcome to Riley’s Rocking Grill! My name;s Tyler. How about I start you Rockstars off with a few kids menus?”

Ewan wrinkled his nose in embarrassment. “Err…my Dad said I could order off the proper menu…” he interjected awkwardly.

“Me too!” Charlie mimicked straight away. Theodore cocked his head at the ten-year-old, a little taken off guard. Charlie always ordered off the kids menu.

“Heck yeah!” Tyler enthused, passing over two large menus to Charlie and Ewan while distributing a couple of sheets of paper and accompanying bundles of crayons to Luke and Teddy. “That’s two grown-up menus for the big kids, and two kids menus for the little guys.” he narrated, maintaining the bizarre patronizing energy that reminded Theodore of a particularly annoying history teacher he’d had in middle school. “You boys need a little time, or is there anything I can help you with right away?”

“Apple juice, please!” Luke sang, kicking his legs playfully back and forth under the booth.

“Sure thing, little dude.” Tyler agreed, noting the request down.

“A coke.” Ewan said curtly.

“Me too.” Charlie echoed.

“And me.” Theodore muttered.

Charlie gave him a skeptical glance. “Are you allowed that?” he interrupted.

“Huh?”

“I thought fizzy drinks give you a tummy ache.” He explained, sounding kinda concerned. He dropped his voice into a low confidential whisper, though it was still plenty audible enough for everyone at the table to hear. “Remember what happened at the Zoo that time…?”

A derisive snort from Ewan reawakened the petulant fury bubbling away in Theodore just under the surface. He of course had no idea what Charlie was talking about, but from Ewan’s reaction he knew it must have been something extremely humiliating. Unfortunately, his new little boy brain only seemed to be capable of the most basic of arguments in objection. “But I want it!” he demanded.

Charlie ignored him, turning directly to the waiter. “He’ll just have milk.” he substituted, overruling his fussy little brother.

“Sure thing, dudes.” Tyler agreed straight away, the harsh scratch of his biro crossing out Theodore’s original order making the little boy pout. He soon disappeared again, leaving them alone.

Theo scowled at Charlie. “What did you do that for?” he growled.

“You don’t even like coke.” Charlie informed him. “I was just looking out for you.”

“Yeah.” Ewan interjected. “We wouldn’t want little Teddy having another oopsie in his nice graduation shorts.”

Theodore felt his ears go hot, starting to put together what might have happened at the Zoo. His embarrassment soon turned straight back to anger however. None of this was supposed to have happened! He was supposed to be eighteen!

“Shuddup!” he growled, scrunching up a crayon in his fist and brandishing the point at Ewan like the blade of a knife.

The display only seemed to amuse Ewan even more. “Don’t worry.” he tittered. “When you get home, Mommy can sit you on your training potty, and then you can drink all the soda you like!”

“I don’t have a training potty!” Theodore seethed.

“You don’t?” Ewan kept on mocking cruelly, acting all surprised. “But you’ve got all the other toddler stuff. Your stuffie, your sesame street shirt, your pull-ups. Little Teddy the Toddler.” he teased.

The taunt hit home - Theodore’s natural six-year-old obsession with being a ‘big boy’ combining with his very real adult fears about waking up even younger the next day creating the perfect storm for a proper Kindergarten temper tantrum.

“I’M NOT A FUCKING TODDLER!” He yelled at the top of his voice, jumping to his feet with his fists at his side.

The smirk on Ewan’s face instantly disappeared, replaced with a look of genuine concern as he whirled around his head in search of any lurking adults who might have heard the forbidden word. Luckily however, the restaurant was rather noisy, and the adults were a good few tables away. It seemed he had gotten away with it. Ewan smirked, seeming to regard Theodore with a strange kind of respect.

“Jeez. dude. Calm down.” he giggled. “I was only messing with you.”

“Where did you even learn that?” Charlie asked in amazement, frowning at his little brother with a mix of disapproval and amazement.

“Teddy said a naughty word!” Luke chimed, otherwise occupied running a blue crayon messily through the maze printed on the back of his menu.

“I’m not a toddler…” Theodore growled, breathing heavily in and out. He was still wearing a furious frown as he glared around at his fellow dining companions.

“Sure, dude.” Ewan assured - though he seemed more concerned with preventing the furious little kid from blowing up again than actually apologizing. “You’re a big boy or whatever. You’re in first grade and everything.”

Theodore was hardly placated, but as he continued to take big calming breaths he did find that his anger had dissipated - if only slightly. “...Fine.” he conceded, sitting down in his seat again.

“Hey.” Ewan suddenly suggested, a fresh mischievous grin coming to his lips. “You wanna play a game that like everyone plays at my school?” he asked temptingly.

“What?” Theodore asked, his curiosity piqued.

“Argh…I dunno if we should actually.” Ewan dismissed. “You guys are probably too little. It’s only for like actual big kids. Like in middle school.”

“I wanna play!” Theodore chimed at once. A rational part of him knew that Ewan was manipulating him, but he didn’t care, entirely preoccupied with showing - no, proving - that Ewan was wrong, and that he really was the most mature out of all of them.

“Well, alright.” Ewan agreed. “It’s called truth or dare.” he explained. “Basically, I ask you ‘truth or dare’, and you have to choose if you wanna answer any question I ask you, or if you wanna do whatever dare I come up with.”

Theodore scrunched up his face. He had always thought that ‘truth’ was easier, but how could he hope to answer questions about a new life he didn’t even remember? As the story about the Zoo had demonstrated, there were clearly plenty of embarrassing secrets surrounding his six year old past. If he got caught in a lie, Theo was certain that would only make him appear more babyish.

“Um…dare…” he decided half-heartedly, pouting in nervous anticipation.

“Nice.” Ewan grinned. Clearly, it was what he had been hoping for. He pointed over towards the grown-up table where Mom, Uncle Rob, and Jessica were all sitting together - having just received their drinks. “Your dare is to go over there, and get Jessica to give you her phone.” he said smugly.

Charlie let out a dismissive tut. “That’s dumb.” he said, rolling his eyes. “No way she’s just gonna give him her phone.”

“It’s not that hard. Just say you wanna play a game or whatever.” Ewan defended himself. “Or I guess you could just take it.” he shrugged.

Theo looked nervous, stealing a glance at Jessica. Sure enough, her phone was right there on the table beside her. But was he really going to risk getting in trouble for the sake of some stupid bet? At eighteen it would have been no sweat, and at fourteen, he wouldn’t have thought it was such a big deal – but now he felt almost sick at the thought. He didn’t know why, but some frightened silly six year old part of Theodore seemed to cry out in terror - the idea that getting in trouble was just about the worst thing that could ever conceivably happen to him.

“I dunno if I wanna…” he objected, looking up at Ewan with big needy blue eyes.

His cousin let out a devastating disapproving snort. “Seriously dude?” he demanded. “You’re gonna wuss out?”

“He doesn’t have to do it if he doesn’t want to.” Charlie defended him half-heartedly.

“Wussing out is like…the most babyish thing you could possibly do.” Ewan lectured. “If you wuss out, you’re basically a baby. You might as well be like…two years old!” He nodded sagely himself, as if he were a respected guru of pre-teen wisdom. “Everyone’s gonna think so. You’d be better off going back to diapers.”

The threat hung heavy in the air as Theodore looked back and forth between Jessica and Ewan. He didn’t know what to do.

Wuss out
Go through with the dare