Bully Trouble - Chapter 5

Bertie sat cross legged on the edge of his bed like a meditating monk, the long drapes of his poncho towel pooling on the sheets. He had his eyes firmly shut and his thoughts were lingering peacefully in the heady space between dreams and reality; the distant roll of thunder, the ratatattat of rain on the windows; and the feel of warm soapy water sliding steadily off of his golden curls and dripping onto his bare shoulders all combing to lull him into an innocent aloof nirvana.

It was Friday morning, but he wouldn’t be going to school. For the past week, the little boy had flatly refused to leave the house - bursting into hysterical hiccuping tears even at the thought. After the stunt Charlie Tanner had pulled on Monday, his mother couldn’t blame him. She’d managed to take the week off work to look after him, and though she was clearly very concerned, she tried not to show it - thinking it best to maintain a sunny up-beat disposition as she took care of his every need. She’d bathed him, cuddled him, even spoon-fed him all his meals on Tuesday when he’d spent the whole day crying under the covers. Bertie hadn’t objected. Afterall, the whole school seemed to think he was a baby - what use was it in pretending otherwise?

His eyes fluttered open, the creaking sound of his bedroom door interrupting his trance.

“Bertie, honey?” his mother’s voice cooed softly. “Someone’s here to see you…”

“Hi, Buddy.” Arthur greeted, hovering awkwardly beside her. “Mind if we talk for a moment?”

Bertie gave a curt nod, unfolding his legs as his mother padded silently away - leaving them alone. The bigger boy sat down heavily beside him on the bed, curling a strong arm around his narrow shoulders. “You holding up okay, Bertie-saurus?”

“I’m not going back to school.” he sulked, averting his eyes “Not ever.”

Arthur gently took a hold of his chin, tenderly redirecting the boy’s gaze so that their eyes were meeting. “It won’t happen again.” he asserted confidently. “Your mom spoke to the teachers and the administrators, and I talked to Charlie and the rest of them. It won’t happen again. They won’t get a chance.”

“How come?”

“We set up something special. Those bullies won't be anywhere near you.”

The little boy gave a skeptical frown. He didn’t doubt Arthur’s sincerity, but the whole school must have heard the rumors by now! What difference did it make if they moved some of his classes around? “It doesn’t matter.” he whispered, shaking his head. “I’m not going back.”

“It’s just for the morning.” Arthur assured diplomatically. “Then, after lunch, we’ll come right home and spend the rest of the day here. How does that sound?”

“Well…”

“Mrs Hewitt already excused me from the afternoon periods. We could watch some Dinosaur Planet, or play with your toys, or anything you want. Just come and give it a try, bud. I know you can do it.”

Bertie lowered his head sadly, desperate to refuse the bigger boy, but somehow sensing that it was a done deal. He wasn’t stupid. He knew his mother couldn’t skip work and stay home caring for him like a baby forever. He’d have to bite the bullet some time.  It was better to come quietly than be dragged back kicking and screaming. “Alright…” he agreed uneasily.

The words had barely left his lips before Arthur jumped triumphantly to his feet, hoisting Bertie up with him and kissing him lovingly on the forehead. “Attaboy!” he enthused, tickling his bare tummy. In no time flat, Arthur had all his clothes ready for the day - sliding a chunky pair of Stegosaurus themed cotton training briefs up his legs.

Bertie stared at them nervously, his teeth chattering at the memory of how Charlie had pulled down his shorts to reveal a very similar pair he had worn on Monday. “Can’t I wear my normal briefs?” he pouted, his lips plumped up in pleading.

“‘Fraid not, bud.” Arthur sympathized “No one will see this time, I promise.”

“But what difference does it make?”

“It’ll be plenty obvious if you make a little tinkle in your undies again and there’s a big wet patch on your pants, won’t it?” Arthur explained “It’s safer this way.”

The little boy blushed, haunted by the memory of Charlie holding him down and tickling him on the Gym changing room floor until he’d soaked right through his training pants. It hadn’t been his fault. Charlie had known exactly what he was doing. But still, he had peed his pants. Maybe Arthur was right? “I’m not gonna tinkle…” he objected under his breath, crossing his arms.

“Sure, bud.” Arthur agreed with a sage nod. “But it won’t be such a big deal if you have just a little accident.” He held up a thoughtful finger, suddenly turning on his heels and digging around in his school bag abandoned by the door. “That reminds me.” He finally produced a small white bottle of talc, slightly pulling forward the elastic on the front of Bertie’s padded undies and tapping the bottom of the tub to sprinkle on a thick layer of the baby powder. Twisting the baffled boy around, he quickly repeated the action at the rear end, before happily placing the container next to the small stack of colorful underwear set out on Bertie’s dresser. “There, all fresh and clean.” he declared.

“What was that for?” Bertie inquired, completely bewildered.

“Just in case.” Arthur explained. “We don’t want any nasty rashes if you end up sitting in damp undies all day.”

The boy just sighed, nodding his head in weary agreement and flopping down on the bed so Arthur could dress him up in the rest of his outfit. It wasn’t like there was much choice in the boy’s decidedly infantile wardrobe, but mercifully the bigger boy ended up picking something at least passably mature - a simple pair of orange chino pants paired with a striped white and green polo, only a subtle roaring t-rex motif on the breast and the repeating green stencils printed on his socks hinting at any childish dinosaur mania. Sadly, the same could not be said for his backpack - an anthropomorphic stegosaurus-themed nightmare with his name printed on the back in cartoon multicolored letters. There wasn’t much to be done about that, however. It was a gift from Arthur, afterall.

“What do you think, Bertie? Is Spike coming along for the ride?”

The boy gave a curt nod. He knew it was scandalously immature to bring a stuffed toy along to school, but Spike didn’t need to come out of the backpack. It was enough to simply know he was close by. As Arthur took out a pair of pacifiers from his draw however, Bertie let out a cry of anguish.

“I don’t need those.” he whined, shaking his head forbiddingly.

“You sure, bud?” Arthur patronized “You know they help when you’re upset.”

“I’m not gonna get upset.”

“Someone’s feeling like a brave boy!” The bigger boy praised “Tell you what, we’ll only pack one just in case. If you don’t need it, maybe Spike can have a suck while you're having your lessons.”

All packed up, the pair of them headed downstairs. It was still pouring with rain, so Arthur helped him into his bright green raincoat complete with scary dino spikes and googly eyes on the hood - the bigger boy parrying Bertie’s interfering fingers out of the way to fasten the fiddly zip. Then it was time for his rain boots. The boy at least managed those himself, wiggling his toes to make the fierce toothy dinosaur maws on the caps smile and frown intermittently. The plastic boots, a relic from his real childhood, also bore his name - “BERTIE” printed prominently in bright white letters across the sky blue heel.

“Have a good morning, boys.” Bertie’s mother grinned encouragingly, leaning down to enclose her little son in her arms. “You’ll do fine sweetie, I’m sure.”

“Bye mommy…” Bertie smiled back weakly, taking a final comforting glance at his mother before he splashed out into the street in Arthur’s footsteps.

---

Trudging through the howling wind and flooded streets, Bertie felt an impending sense of dread as they approached the middle school building. When they’d first started out, he’d been holding Arthur’s hand, but as soon as he’d spotted the imposing form of other students lumbering through the relentless rain, he’d slithered away like an eel - preferring to follow just a few steps behind. His mind was racing as they reached the entrance, but to his surprise Arthur kept marching directly onwards - thundering down the street towards the Elementary Buildings.

“Where are you going?” Bertie squeaked, struggling to make his voice heard through the pounding rain. He huffed in frustration, sloshing hurriedly to catch up with the bigger boy and tugging at his arms. “You walked past it!”

Arthur just smiled, still striding inexorably forward as Bertie struggled to keep pace. “You’re not going to middle school, silly.” he explained.

“What?” Bertie squealed, but Arthur was already meters ahead again. He took a series of deep breaths, half out of exhaustion from toddling around on his little legs and half out of a dreadful sense of fear. Getting himself together, he charged forward, meeting the bigger boy by the big oak tree in front of the low gate that led to the small secluded Kindergarten playground “Where are we going?”

“Here.” Arthur said simply, finally grounding to a halt and pointing to the Kindergarten class just across the way. Bertie couldn’t quite tell, the bigger boy’s expression slightly masked by his vast yellow anorak, but Arthur seemed to look genuinely excited - as if he was watching his little friend unwrap a long awaited birthday present. “I didn’t tell you before ‘cause I wanted it to be a surprise, but this is what me and your mom sorted. Now you won’t even have to be in the same building as those boys!”

Bertie blinked, the rush of water steaming down his face making him look like he was mid-tantrum - but it was only the rain. In truth, the boy was so shocked that he could barely muster any rage, or sadness, or even embarrassment. Kindergarten? Him? He was fourteen! Why would the school ever agree to that? Starting to hyperventilate, he crouched down wordlessly on the path - staring intently at the river of rain water flowing past. It didn’t make any sense!

“Bertie?” Arthur’s voice interrupted, strong hands prodding on his shoulders. “Buddy?” The boy remained motionless, simply shaking his head in disbelief, before eventually Arthur gave up and leaned down to bundle the raincoat-clad tot up in his arms. Their faces just inches away, the boys locked eyes, Arthur exuding a big grin of positivity “What’s wrong, buddy? You hear me?”

“Why…?” the smaller boy whined. “How?”

“You know why, bud. And don’t get all sulky on me again! It’ll be fun! There’ll be lots of cool activities, and toys just like you like, and boys and girls who like to play all the same games that you like to play!”

“But…” Bertie blubbed “I don’t want…I can’t…” he trailed off, resorting to contorting his cherubic features in an adorable unhappy pout of protest.

“It’s just for this morning, like I said.” Arthur assured. “Then we’re going back straight back home to play by ourselves. Just give it a chance, alright?”

The boy’s jaw hung open in shock, falling silent again as Arthur began to convey him over towards the classroom door. He simply couldn’t understand why Arthur was being so nonchalant! Give it a chance? It wasn’t a new game or an unfamiliar fruit or vegetable - it was going back to Kindergarten!

Arthur wrapped on the door, the little boy bundled against his side like a toddler with his dino themed rain-booted feet snuggled loosely against his hip. Soon enough, a young woman perhaps in her early 30s or late 20s appeared on the other side of the glass pane, pushing open the door to unleash the cacophonous sound of a couple dozen hyperactive five and six year olds.

“Ahh.” She smiled warmly “This must be Bertie. And Arthur…?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Arthur nodded, finally unhitching Bertie from his waist and letting the boy clamber down to stick to his leg like a limpet. “He’s a little bit nervous, I’m afraid.”

“Aww, that’s no problem. We’ll have him happy as a clam in no time!” the woman looked down, turning an unnaturally saccharine sweet expression towards the uneasy looking little boy “I’m Miss Bee. Just like a buzzy bumble bee! Isn’t that fun?”

Bertie’s eyes widened, stepping back and tugging needily on Arthur’s anorak to attract the bigger boy’s attention. Arthur frowned, leaning down to his level and putting his ear a few inches to his mouth to indulge him.

“She thinks I’m a baby!” he hiss-whispered, flashing a furious outraged glare.

Arthur rolled his eyes “Chill out, bud. She’s only being nice.” He straightened out again, looking apologetically across at Miss Bee “Sorry about that. We were just wondering…I’ve got to head back to the middle school, but would it be okay if I swung by to see how he’s doing at recess? He’s kinda clingy this morning.”

“That’s fine, of course.” Miss Bee assured, holding out a coaxing hand to usher Bertie indoors. The boy cringed away, but with Arthur’s hand firmly patting him on the back, he soon had little choice but to step forward. “Good boy.” Miss Bee praised, taking him by the hand as she offered a final parting smile to Arthur. “We’ll take good care of him. And I’ve got his mommy’s number if there’s any emergency.”

“Great.” Arthur nodded “See you soon, bud!” And with that, the door swung shut.

“Right.” Miss Bee announced with an energetic twinkle in her eye. Taking his bag from his shoulders, she sat him down on a low bench below a series of coat begs off to the side of the classroom, kneeling at his level as she lifted his leg high into the air and twisted off his muddy rain boot. “One little piggy, and then the other!” she cooed, tickling ever so slightly on his soles and forcing an involuntary squeal from the morose little boy.

“I can do that myself…” he whined in a low whisper, prompting a hum of delight from Miss Bee.

“Oh, you do talk then!” she teased, unzipping his bag and starting to rifle invasively through the contents. “Since you're such a big boy, you can show me exactly how you put on your day shoes…oh, your mommy did pack you a pair of day shoes, didn’t she?” Bertie gave a slow shake of his head. Miss Bee shrugged “Not to worry, you can just wear your little dino socks for today. Up you get!”

Bertie did as he was told, the teacher once again taking charge of unzipping his waterproof and threading out his arms. Taking the boy by the hand again, she led him over to an empty peg, hooking up the coat and bag and sliding the boots neatly into a cubby below the bench. A little hand-drawn cartoon of a mouse was taped above the hook, his name written below in big bubbly lettering.

“This is your peg, sweetie.” Miss Bee explained. “It has your name written here, but if you can’t remember what that looks like, just think that it's the one with the squeaky little mouse. Can you go squeak squeak like a baby mouse?” Bertie stayed silent, teetering back and forth nervously on the balls of his feet. The woman continued to stare at him however, eyes open unnaturally wide in cloying encouragement

“Squeak squeak.” the boy eventually peeped, more so she would leave him alone than anything else.

“Good boy.” Miss Bee praised, ruffling his hair as she took him by the hand again. She led him quickly out of the small cloakroom space and into the classroom proper, clicking her free hand authoritatively to get the attention of the excitable group of kindergarteners chatting on the carpet in front of her desk. “Good morning boys and girls!” she declared, finally letting go of Bertie’s hand when he was standing at the very front of the class.

“Good mooorning Miss Beeee!” the class chanted back in unison.

“We’ve got a new visitor today. Bertie’s another one of our little guests, so I want you all to treat him very kindly. Can you say good morning to Bertie?”

“Good mooorning Bertie!”

The boy gave a nervous whimper, feeling himself gravitating towards Miss Bee’s comforting shadow as he stared out at the sea of attentive wide-eyed students. His mind was suddenly arush with all sorts of terrifying possibilities, each one more humiliating than the last. Who did these kids think he was? A helpful big kid? A fellow kindergartener? An interloping pre-schooler? Miss Bee had called him a “little guest.” What on earth was that supposed to mean? He steadied his breathing, trying to exude maturity with the frigid frown of a procacious pensive teen - but he ended up looking more like a timid toddler.

“Do you want to say hello, Bertie?” Miss Bee prompted, tapping lightly on his tush to coax him back out into the spotlight. It had been almost an almost unconscious instinct, but he’d retreated so far that he’d practically been hiding behind her leg!

“Hello…” the boy said breathily, the whole class leaning forward slightly to try and hear him better. His throat closing up, Bertie looked dejectedly down at the floor, fiddling uneasily with the ends of his pants strings.

“Good job, sweetie.” Miss Bee came to his rescue, sensing his unease. She placed a comforting hand atop his head, presenting him to the class like a prized lamb at auction. “Bertie’s mommy told me that he’s a big fan of dinosaurs! Isn’t that exciting?”

A hum of approval went up among the students, the gaggle of little kids all spontaneously starting to yip, yap and yell about the exhilarating topic. Miss Bee soon had them under control again however, punctuating the impromptu class discussion with three sharp claps of her hands. The sudden piercing sound took Bertie by surprise, the little boy jumping out of his skin and clasping his hands over his ears.

“Sorry about that, sweetie.” Miss Bee apologized, gently pulling his arms back down to his sides again. “But there’s no need to be scared.” She turned toward the class again, gesturing both hands swiftly up as a prompt for everyone to stand. “Right!” she declared with an electric energy. “Everyone find your partner! We’re going to have half an hour at our learning stations, and then we’ll be back on the rug for some math.” The students nodded their assent, all filing off in pairs towards different areas of the classroom. Bertie, not really knowing what to do, stuck close to the teacher - Miss Bee soon intercepting a giggling blue eyed boy with a shaggy mop of brown hair as he passed by the desk. “Oh, Ewan. I don’t think Hugh’s here this morning. Could you partner up with Bertie instead?”

Ewan’s grin grew even larger, looking like an excitable puppy dog who’d just been thrown the world’s largest bone. “Oh-kay!” he agreed, immediately bounding up and grabbing Bertie by the hand. The little teen was dismayed to see that, despite his decidedly infantile demeanor, the kindergartener was rather large for his age - perhaps standing an inch or two above Bertie. “I’ll take care of him!”  Ewan panted excitably, squeezing Bertie’s hand vice tight and displaying a proud toothy grin to the teacher.

“There’s a good boy.” Miss Bee praised. “Do you know what you’re doing this morning?”

“Yep!” Ewan nodded, pointing over towards a small nook in the corner where a large comfy-looking chair was set up next to a collection of brightly colored picture books “We’re gonna read a story!”

“Well, I’m sure Bertie will enjoy that.”

“Uh-huh! I’m a good reader.” Ewan bragged, basking for a moment in Miss Bee’ praising smile before he began to march off towards the reading area - dragging Bertie forcefully along behind him like a little dog struggling on its lead “Come on, Bertie!”

 “Stop it!” Bertie mewled, his arm stretched out painfully. “Let go!”

“Why?” Ewan queeried, entirely oblivious to the smaller boy’s plight as he picked up his pace to an intolerable half-gallop careening towards the books.

“You’re hurting me!”

“Oh.” the kindergartener observed, finally letting go and twisting around to throw out his arms in a playful attempt at apology. “Sorry, Bertie! I’ll hug it better!”

Bertie let out a squeak of fright, his protests muffled as the slightly bigger boy enveloped him in a crushing cuddle. His face was pushed directly against the scratchy fabric of the boy’s white polo shirt, his nose mere millimeters away from a nondescript pale pink stain. Finally Ewan let him go, concluding the affectionate gesture with a surprise wet kiss on his cheek. Bertie retreated hurriedly away from the boy as soon as he was able, stumbling unexpectedly and falling back into the big comfy chair by the books.

“All better?” Ewan asked, leaping up onto the chair to sit uncomfortably close to his miniature peer. Bertie gave an uneasy nod, retreating back on to a padded armrest. Ewan soon followed suit, taking up the other. Fortunately, the chair was plenty big enough to accommodate the two of them perched on their respective armrests without having to touch at all. “You smell funny.” Ewan remarked. “Like my baby cousin Alfie! He’s only two, and he still wears a diaper - or sometimes pull-ups. But he always has accidents in those too…” The boy paused, cocking his head as if suddenly struck by a thought “Are you still in diapers?”

Bertie gave a scowl, shaking his head furiously. “Of course not!” He glared deep into the boy’s milky blue eyes, trying to suss out if he was making fun of him, but to his annoyance the boy seemed entirely genuine.

“You smell like you do.” Ewan continued. “You smell like Alfie’s diapers. Last weekend, my Auntie Rachel let me help change him, and he went pee all over my hand!”

Bertie went bright red, suddenly recalling the distinctive smell of the baby power that Arthur had poured down the front of his underwear that morning. He hadn’t really questioned it at the time, and he’d grown accustomed to the smell, but the stuff was pretty pungent! He must have reeked like a nursery! “I don’t wear diapers.” he growled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” The boy hissed. Desperate to change the subject, he hopped off the chair - tottering over towards the book shelf and pulling a title randomly from the selection. It looked pretty standard, the front cover displaying an illustrated picture of a group of golden retriever dogs sitting on their hind legs in front of a simple suburban house “I thought we were gonna read.” Bertie insisted, loosely holding the book by its spine.

“Oh, yeah!” Ewan nodded his approval, “That’s my favorite.”

“Great.” Bertie sighed, flopping down the book on the seat of the chair and going to clamber back up onto his secluded seat on the armrest again. Just as he was getting comfy however, Ewan slid down from his own armrest to sit on the cushion - hooking a strong arm around Bertie’s waist to pull him down into an affectionate snuggle. The chair was big, but not that big, the two boy’s practically sitting on top of each other with Bertie’s legs cuddled up snugly atop Ewan’s lap. “Let me go!” he demanded, but the kindergartener shushed him as if he were a fussy baby, opening up the first page of the book.

Bertie wiggled and fidgeted, but he simply couldn’t get loose - soon left with no choice but to rest his head tiredly against Ewan’s shoulder. “Are you ready for story time?” Ewan patronized, prodding presumptuously at the hem of Bertie’s green stripey polo and tickling unwelcome pudgy fingers against his soft sensitive tummy.

“No.” Bertie pouted, determined to sulk.

“Don’t be fussy.” Ewan scolded, taking up Bertie’s hand and guiding a finger over to the first word on the page “Look, you can follow along while I read it out loud.”

“I can read it myself.”

“Some of the words are hard, and I’m the best reader.”

A stubborn prideful part of Bertie wanted to point out that he read at a 10th grade level, but he thought better of it. Sure, Ewan seemed to barely think him more competent than his two-year-old cousin - but did he really want to risk the whole class finding out that he was an eighth grader so weak and weedy that he’d been packed off back to Kindergarten? It was better to simply ride out the humiliation as he had done so often before. It was only a few hours. Then Arthur would return and he could retreat safely back to the comforting cocoon of his bedsheets.

Ewan started reading, guiding Bertie’s limp finger across the page as he narrated the story in a loud confident voice - complete with distinct silly voices for each of the characters. The book was hardly classical literature, but it was entertaining enough - telling the simple story of a family of Golden Retriever Dogs who seemed to live exactly like a human family. There was a daddy dog who had a job at a bank, a mummy dog who was a teacher, and two puppies - one big puppy who went to the local Kindergarten, and another much smaller puppy illustrated wearing a cartoonish white cloth diaper. Ewan was subtle, but Bertie was sure he caught him glancing down curiously at the waist of his pants whenever the diapered puppy appeared in the story - as if trying to spy out a peaking papery waistband.

Eventually the story was finished, Ewan closing the book but still maintaining his tight grip around the smaller boy’s waist. “That one’s my favorite.” he repeated. “Did you like it?”

“I guess…” Bertie shrugged.

Ewan let out a short shriek of delight, cuddling the boy even closer and planting three big kisses atop his downy crown of golden curls. “I like you.” he declared “You’re cute. Like a puppy, or a kitten, or a little brother.”

Bertie produced a cringing moan, trying to squirm away again, but it was no use - Ewan squeezing him eye-poppingly tight as if he were his own personal plush toy. After what seemed like an age, he heard three sharp claps from across the room, Ewan finally letting him go as he stood up to attention and looked reverently over to the teacher’s desk.

“Okay boys and girls, it’s time for math! Everyone finish what you’re doing and clean up your stations!”

Ignoring the abandoned book on the chair, Bertie scrambled to his feet  - trying to find a place on the carpet as far away from Ewan as possible.

---

“Very good Bertie!” Miss Bee lauded in a high-pitched baby talk “You’re quite the little math whizz!” Bertie gave a swift acknowledging nod, feeling rather embarrassed to have answered such a simple addition question. Still, it was better than saying nothing and having everyone believe he couldn’t even add two plus three. He’d been trying to keep a low profile, but Miss Bee had called on him - saving the most basic equation written out on the white board for her ‘little guest’.

“Well by my book that’s recess.” Miss Bee observed, glancing at her wristwatch and dismissing the class with a wave of her hand “There’s no use going out in this rain, so you can all have an extra fifteen minutes of free play.”

At once the class broke out into excited chattering, all the boys and girls scrambling to their feet in an effort to secure the best toys. Eventually the only one still sat on the carpet was Bertie, the little boy wearing a perturbed frown and hugging his legs tight against his chest as he lingered by the teacher’s seat.

“Don't you want to go play, sweetie?” Miss Bee asked, leaning down and placing a slender finger under his chin to coax him out of his solitude. The boy shook his head stubbornly, not saying a word. “Are you feeling okay? Does your tummy hurt? Your head?”

“No…” Bertie peeped “I just don’t want to play.”

The teacher gave an understanding smile. “All the noisy big kids are a little scary, huh?” Bertie didn’t dignify that with a response, simply staring resentfully forward - looking like a muddle headed baby missing his mommy. “We can just talk if you like. Your mommy told me you got some new dino toys!”

“They’re replicas.” The boy asserted, but just at that moment there was a loud tap on the window pane of the door that led out to the playground - Arthur smiling broadly and offering a reassuring wave as he stood out in the rain. Miss Bee glided over at once to let him in, the bigger boy soon shucking off his coat and rainboots and striding over deep in conversation with the teacher.

“How’s he doing?” he asked, putting a possessive hand atop Bertie’s coronet of golden curls.

“Just wonderful. He’s definitely feeling a little shy, but he was a real super star in math -  weren’t you sweetie?”

Bertie gave a curt nod, rising to his feet and letting Arthur take him by the hand. “Are we going home now?”

“Not quite buddy. At lunch, okay?” The bigger boy ruffled Bertie’s hair, giving a knowing look to the teacher “Did he make any new friends?”

“Oh, sure.” Miss Bee assured, gesturing broadly to where Ewan was jumping up and down madly with a small group of other boys - seemingly imitating a dog with his tongue lulling from his mouth and his hands curled up on his chest like paws “He and Ewan had great fun reading a picture book together.”

“Aww, that’s sweet.” Arthur cooed “What do you think, bud. Do you want to run off and play with Ewan some more?”

Bertie furiously shook his head to signal a definitive no, moving a few inches closer to Arthur’s side to hide his face bashfully in the bigger boy’s shirt.

“Like I said, he’s still a little shy.” Miss Bee explained.

“We’ll just go hang out somewhere quiet.” Arthur proposed “How does that sound?”

“Okay.” Bertie acquiesced, shuffling along at Arthur’s side as they retreated back over to the little reading nook. Some kids were clambering all over the big chair, so they sat down on the floor instead - Arthur lifting Bertie gently into the air and snuggling him comfortably in his lap.

“How you doin’ bud?” Arthur murmured into his ear, letting the boy rest his tired head against his chest.

“Bad.” Bertie sulked. “Everyone thinks I’m a baby.”

“That’s not true.” Arthur rebutted “Babies don’t go to Kindergarten, do they?”

“No.” the smaller boy admitted “But they still think I’m little. Like a preschooler or something. That Ewan kid said I was cute!”

Arthur chuckled “You can’t deny that, bud. Besides, it’s a lot better than all that nasty stuff kids were calling you in middle school, right?”

Bertie shrugged. Loath as he was to admit it, the tender easy-going pace of Kindergarten was about a million times less stressful than the veritable gauntlet of humiliation he’d been through on Monday. “Its just…what about my school work?” he reasoned, desperate for any excuse.

“Don’t worry about that for now.” Arthur insisted, rocking him in his arms. “Just focus on having fun, okay?”

Suddenly, Ewan came sprinting round the corner with a large plush puppy dog squeezed in the crook of his arm, chunky light up trainers pounding against the scratchy carpet. As he passed by, he trampled Bertie's stretched out sock-clad feet - making him yap in pain “Yowww!”

Ewan ground to a halt at once, blinking in bewildered concern at the sight of the blond-haired newcomer’s little features contorted in agony. “Are you okay?”

“No!” Bertie complained indignantly “You stepped on my toes!”

“Oh, sorry Bertie!” Ewan exclaimed, bouncing down on his bottom by Arthur’s side. “Let me kiss them better!” Bertie cringed away, but bundled up in Arthur’s lap there was nowhere to escape, only able to fidget and wriggle as Ewan seized up one of his feet and showered it with ticklish kisses - peels of involuntary laughter spilling from the unhappy little boy’s lips.

Eventually, blessedly, Arthur intervened - reclaiming Bertie’s foot from the overenthusiastic kindergartener and securing it safe in his lap again. “I think Bertie’s all better now, champ. But thanks.”

“Okay!” Ewan agreed, reclining back on his knees “Are you Bertie’s Daddy?”

Arthur gave a hearty laugh. “Not quite. I don’t look that old, do I?”

“Big brother, then?” the teen shook his head “Babysitter?”

“We’re more like special buddies.” Arthur explained, squeezing Bertie’s belly affectionately “Isn’t that right?”

“We’re friends.” The little boy mewled.

Ewan nodded thoughtfully, taking a moment to process the information. “What’s your name, champ?” Arthur asked, offering the kindergartener an avuncular grin.

“Ewan!”

“Ahh, Miss Bee told me you and Bertie did some reading together.”

“Uh-huh!”

“Well, I’m Arthur.” The teen smiled, nodding at the yellow stuffed puppy still bundled under Ewan’s armpit “What’s your plushy called?”

“Butterscotch!” Ewan enthused “He’s a golden retriever, and he’s my most favouritest toy ever! I brought him in for show and tell.”

“Cool! You know, Bertie has a special stuffy as well.”

Ewan’s eyes widened in excitement, turning his attention to Bertie “What’s his name?”

The little boy stayed silent, only prompted to speak when Arthur squeezed encouragingly against his tummy again. “Spike.” he said simply “He’s a stegosaurus.”

“He brought him into school today as well!” Arthur continued. “He’s just hanging out in your bag, isn’t he bud?”

“Imma go get it!” Ewan declared, jumping to his feet again and skipping away.

“It’s the bag with his name on it!” Arthur called after him helpfully

Bertie tried to get up, not exactly pleased with the idea of the kindergartener routing around in his things, but Arthur wouldn’t allow it - clamping his arm down tight like the safety bar on a rollercoaster ride.  Before he knew it, Ewan had returned with the anthropomorphic blue dinosaur bag clutched in his hand - unzipping the top and pouring everything out roughly onto the ground. Bertie’s heart fell as if it had risen into his throat when he saw the pacifier tumble out in full view of everyone - starting to fidget and writhe desperately against Arthur’s strong arm in an effort to reach out and conceal the thing beneath his fist.

“What’s the matter, bud?” Arthur asked. “Oh, you want your paci?” He easily seized it up, twisting it around and popping the nipple into his mouth. Shocked, the boy took a few accidental sucks as Arthur held it gently against his lips before he spat it out on the floor - gagging in disgust as if he’d just been force fed poison.

“NO!” he practically screamed, his face burning ruddy red.

“Shh, shh inside voice buddy.” Arthur reminded him, quickly packing the paci away. “Looks, it's safe in the bag again. No need to freak out.”

Luckily, Ewan didn’t seem particularly intrigued by the incident, already standing up Spike on the carpet next to his puppy plush. “They’re going on an adventure!” he declared, starting to construct a complex pretend story about the two stuffed animals. Still grumbling in consternation, Bertie sat back in Arthur’s arms, happy to be left alone as Ewan breathlessly narrated his made up tale. He wasn’t really paying much attention, but from what he could tell the rambling story seemed to revolve around Spike and Butterscotch being brothers going on a magical quest to find their mommy and daddy. Bertie didn’t say anything, but he did feel a little stab of resentment as it became clear that Spike was definitely the little brother - Ewan taking great pleasure in acting out scenes where the stegosaurus got a boo-boo, or threw a tantrum, or got lost on his own. Whatever it was, Butterscotch would soon bound along to make things better again.

“Buddy?” Arthur whispered in Bertie’s ear after a while, quiet enough so that Ewan couldn’t hear. “Do you have to go potty?”

“Huh?” Bertie whispered back. “No!”

“You sure? You’re all fidgety.”

Bertie blushed, suddenly realizing that he could feel a weak tugging sensation tightening in his tummy. His mind had been elsewhere, but clearly he’d been wriggling so much that Arthur had known before he had. Letting out a frustrated huff, he gave a curt nod, crawling out of Arthur’s lap and standing up to let the bigger boy take him by the hand.

“We’ll be right back, champ.” Arthur reassured Ewan, accompanying Bertie the short distance over to the toilets at the back of the small cloakroom area.

“Look at that, buddy.” Arthur observed as he swung open the cubicle doors to reveal the low level kindergarten-friendly toilets  “They’re Bertie-sized! Isn’t that great?”

“I guess.” Bertie growled, firmly closing the lock behind him. To his frustration however, the door was just as low as the toilet, a large gap at the top of the frame giving plenty of room for a grown up to keep a supervising eye on him.

“Need some help with those?” Arthur asked, watching as he fiddled to untie the cords on his chinos.

“Nope.” Bertie insisted, finally resorting to simply tugging the still fastened garment down to his ankles. Shimmying off the thick cotton training pants, he averted his eyes to the ceiling, retreating backwards onto the toilet seat and trying to ignore Arthur staring at him.

“No need for your training seat here either, huh?” the bigger boy continued. “Though you could probably still do with the splash guard…”

Bertie inhaled sharply in panic, glancing down briefly to make sure all of his pee was actually going in the potty - but there was nothing to worry about. Arthur was just talking nonsense, as usual.

“Remember to wipe!” the supervising big kid instructed as he finished up. Bertie just rolled his eyes, doing as he was told before yanking his pants back up and flushing the toilet. As he toddled out of the cubicle, Arthur leaned down behind him - briefly readjusting his chinos and underpants so that the training briefs weren’t so bunched up around his butt. He led him over to the low sinks, prompting him to hold out his arms as he took charge of washing his hands. “There, just like a big boy!” Arthur praised, leaning down to offer a high five.

Letting a resentful tut, Bertie left him hanging, instantly turning on his heels and marching back over to the classroom. Free play seemed to have come to an end, Miss Bee already calling the class back to attention on the central carpet in front of her desk.

“There you are, Bertie.” She called out. “Come and sit down next to Ewan. He’s still got your stuffy.”

The boy hummed in dissatisfaction, with no choice but to traipse over and sit cross legged next to the overbearing kindergartener - prying Spike from out of his interfering hands with an aggressive tug.

“Thanks, Miss Bee!” Arthur called out as he headed toward the door. “See you in a bit!”

“Thanks, Arthur!” the teacher replied, before immediately turning her focus back to the class. “Now, let's get started with our phonics…”

---

“Vroooooom!” Ewan imitated, guiding a little toy sports car speedily around the two stuffies sat together on the carpet. Bertie sighed, squeezing down hard on his own toy car as he retreated into his own thoughts again. He should have been happy. It was almost over, afterall. After phonics, Miss Bee had given them 30 minutes of free play to round out the morning. He only had to endure Kindergarten class for a little while longer, and then Arthur would be back to take him home where everything was safe and secure and quiet.

Still, Bertie couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of unease. Arthur had told him that he was only here for the morning, but the boy had an unshakeable feeling that this was going to be a much more permanent arrangement. He definitely wasn’t going back to middle school - he’d been quite clear about; and his mother couldn’t be out of the office forever. He’d heard her mention something about moving to remote work, but there were still sure to be mornings, or afternoons, or full days when she’d need someone else to keep an eye on him. On days like that, Bertie supposed he’d been finding himself here again - a curiosity for the kindergarteners to poke and prod and play with, a permanent “little guest.”

“Are you okay?” Ewan inquired, scooting up unbearably close to Bertie’s side.

“Yeah.” Bertie nodded, shying back.

“You need another diaper change?”

“What? No!” the little boy yelped, narrowing his eyebrows and clenching his fist “I already told you. I don't wear diapers!”

“But didn’t you have an accident…?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Before, at recess. You got all grumbly and quiet, and then you were making a sad face. Then you whispered to your babysitter and he took you off to get your diaper changed!”

Bertie scoffed, half outraged and half plain baffled by Ewan’s bizarre interpretation of events. “That’s not what happened!” he insisted.

“That’s what Alfie does whenever he goes in his diaper.”

“I’m not-!” Bertie growled, pausing mid sentence and taking some time to compose himself. “Listen.” he began afresh. “I’m not a little kid. I don’t wear diapers. Arthur just took me to the toilet.”

“Oh!” Ewan remarked, entirely unperturbed. “Next time I can take you!” he boasted “I know all about potty training. Last week, when Alfie was trying to use the potty, I helped him pull down his pants and his pull-up, and I showed him how to flush and wash his hands and everything! He still had an accident, but he’s only two and-”

“I’m not a baby!” Bertie yelled, flinging down the toy car still clutched in his hand with furious energy. He went as red as a fire truck, teeth bared animalistically as he screamed directly in Ewan’s face. “I don’t wear diapers, I don’t need potty training, and I don’t need YOUR help!”

For just a moment, Ewan’s cheery upbeat energy flagged, the kindergartener raising a bemused eyebrow as he regarded the hyperventilating blond boy scowling inches from his face.

“Bertie!” Miss Bee’s voice called out from nearby, the teacher hooking a hand under his armpit to pull him authoritatively to his feet. She leaned down by his side, holding on firmly to the collar of his polo shirt and displaying a fierce admonishing frown “What do you think you’re doing, young man?”

Bertie blinked stupidly, taken off guard by Miss Bee’s instantous response time. He suddenly felt very immature, the teacher managing to elicit an overwhelming sense of shame with just a single chiding wag of her finger. “But I was…” he began, pointing desperately back and forth between Ewan and Miss Bee as he felt tears start to well in the corners of his eyes “He said…”

“It doesn’t matter what he said, Bertie.” Miss Bee lectured. “Big boys in Kindergarten don’t yell.” The dam broke as a hot rush of tears began to pour forth relentlessly from Bertie’s eyes, clouding his vision. He took a big hiccupping breath, trying desperately to construct some kind of explanation, but only made himself cry even harder - all of his words dying on his tongue. “Now, usually you’d get a time out.” Miss Bee continued to scold, seemingly unmoved by his tears. “But since you’re only visiting, you can just tell Ewan that you're sorry.”

The kindergartener bounced to his feet, offering the blubbering boy a broad forgiving grin as Miss Bee turned Bertie’s shoulders to face him. “Go ahead, honey.”

The little boy swallowed, taking a few big gulping stabilizing breaths as he tried to get his emotions under control. “I’m sorry for y..yelling Ewan…” he finally choked out, managing to focus his bleary eyes momentarily on the unbothered boy.

“That’s okay!” Ewan said cheerily, immediately throwing out his arms and engulfing Bertie in another bone-crushing cuddle. “It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s very mature of you, Ewan.” Miss Bee praised, looking on in approval.

“He’s just cranky.” Ewan shrugged, finally releasing the smaller boy from his grasp. “My cousin does the same thing. He’d feel better if he had a nap!”

Bertie moaned, drawing an arm swiftly across his face to wipe away as much snot and tears as he could, but it was still obvious from his wrecked red face that he’d been bawling. As Arthur once again appeared outside the classroom door, the boy collapsed down on the carpet again - seizing up Spike and holding the toy in front of his face to disguise the evidence of his shameful tantrum.

“He just got a little bit overwhelmed, but he had a good morning.” Miss Bee was explaining, leading Arthur across the room.

“Yep!” Ewan chipped in, shaking his toy car excitedly back and forth “We played race cars!”

“That’s great, champ!” Arthur agreed, offering a hand at Bertie’s level to coax him up from off the floor. The boy was happy to accept, still staring at the carpet and snuggling Spike against his face as he rose to his feet. “I’m sure Bertie would love to have you any time for a playdate.”

“Cool!” Ewan exclaimed, obviously elated by the invitation.

“Come on, Bertie-saurus!” Arthur sang, leading him slowly back towards the cloakroom area. “Let’s get ready to go.”

Bertie sat dejectedly on the bench while Arthur twisted on his rain boots. Eventually, with the two of them alone, the little boy finally managed to pull himself out of his sulk - working up the courage to say something. “Why’d you invite him over?” he demanded, staring daggers.

“Who?”

“Ewan.” he spat.

Arthur looked genuinely surprised. “I thought you two got on.”

Bertie pursed his lips. “No.”

“Oh…” Arthur gave a concerned frown “Was he picking on you?”

Bertie sighed in frustration, not really knowing how best to explain it. Whatever he could say about Ewan, he certainly wasn’t a bully. Not like Charlie Tanner. “No.” he finally admitted.

“Then what?”

“He thinks I’m a baby!” Bertie complained “He thinks I wear diapers.”

Arthur chuckled. “Is that all?” Bertie glowered, unable to explain the problem any more succinctly “Tell you what - whenever you and Ewan have your playdate, we’ll make sure to show him exactly how good you are with the potty. Sound good?”

Bertie rolled his eyes, getting quickly to his feet to let Arthur help him into his raincoat. That was hardly the point!