Chapter Four

David ran upstairs and into his room. He had a headache and his clothes were ruined. He stripped them off and dropped them into a pile beside his laundry hamper. He tried to catch his breath and looked at himself in the mirror. The changing room at the store only had one in the hall so he didn’t get a chance to look but he was surprised at what he saw. The scars from his burns when he was ten were more prominent, just like they were when they had finally started to finish healing at thirteen. He traced the familiar lines across his chest and up his arm, he knew it would continue onto his back. His lips quivered a little. Was he going to cry again? He didn’t. He pushed the feeling down with a deep breath and grabbed a towel to hurry to the bathroom and clean himself up.

Aaron finally addressed dinner. The burnt husk of chicken and roasted veggies didn’t seem appetising but he couldn’t exactly let him and David go hungry. He decided to order some pizza. He knows David’s order since that was usually a go to dinner for the two of them.

He sat down on the couch in the living room. While the place had been rebuilt it didn’t leave a huge budget for new furniture so most of it was used. He leaned his head back on the back of the sofa wondering what he was going to do about David. The procedure he went under seemed pretty intense. He started to think of all the things they would need to do, some things were easy but there was no way David was going to be able to take driving lessons like he wanted to, he would get pulled over immediately. Maybe now that his leg was fixed he would buy his brother a bicycle, he used to love riding those when he was little. Well before he got lost when he was a kid. Aaron simply dismissed the idea all together.

David felt a lot better after his shower, so he decided to just put on some black sweatpants and grey t-shirt for the rest of the night. He thought about his scars. The ones on his face, chest, legs all over really. Aaron hadn’t said anything so maybe it was just his imagination that they were worse. He had hit a growth spurt at fifteen so maybe they just didn’t seem that bad before. Either way he was a little self conscious of them, just like he was in middle school. The fact that it was bothering him just made him feel worse about it.

He stepped down the stairs to see his brother accepting pizza at the door. He liked pizza. He wasn’t particularly hungry after throwing up but figured he should at least eat something.

Aaron closed the door and saw David had come down. “Hungry?” He asked him.

“Not really.” David admitted.

“Okay, well try to eat something.” Aarong suggested and brought the pizza into the living room.

David sat on the couch with his brother. He still felt off about everything. He looked around at all the new furniture, not really sure how to feel about it. Nothing was really the same in the house. It looked like a whole different family had moved in. He just sighed and took a single slice of pizza.

“How are you feeling?” Aaron asked curiously.

“I dunno.” David said truthfully, he did not feel like a conversation about PTSD. It’s not like Aaron was there that night, he doesn’t know how intense it was. “Can we just watch a movie or something?”

“Sure David.” Aaron agreed. “What do you want to watch?”

“Just pick anything.” He told his older brother not really in the mood to make a decision. He was happy he didn’t ask him what he wanted for dinner. Having someone else make decisions for him felt nice.

Aaron picked an old western movie. The kind of movie he used to watch with his Dad when he was a kid. He didn’t know if David and his Dad did the same thing. Either way David put his feet up on the couch and curled up against the armrest.

David watched the movie, it was longer than he expected and when it was finally over he yawned. He didn’t actually feel like going to bed though, he felt like his room still felt weird.

Aaron also yawned. “I’m going to bed.” He told his younger brother.

“Yeah, okay.” David told him and watched his brother leave him in the living room. The two of them always held different schedules when it came to going to bed. David was more of a night owl while Aaron woke up early for work. He never really bothered him about it and the two were perfectly happy to have some time to themselves in the evening.

David eventually did go to his room though, he laid down on his bed staring into the darkness. For some reason he couldn’t get to sleep. The darkness felt eerie and unsettling. It made him think about his time in the foster home. He remembered sleeping in a shared room with a couple of other kids, it was always noisy. He then thought about when he was sleeping in this bedroom. In the darkness it looked the same way from when he was ten. Nothing felt exactly right. He sat up and turned on the lamp on his bed side table feeling immediately better.

David looked around the room for answers but didn’t find any. Eventually he collapsed back onto his pillows looking at the now illuminated room. He couldn’t explain it but nothing felt comfortable. Like the walls were too close together or he didn’t fit into the room. He decided to get up.

He left his room behind and wandered the house a little. He went into the kitchen and got a glass of water, he watched some late night TV in the living room and even stepped out onto the deck. He didn’t like being outside at night so quickly retreated back inside. Eventually after a few hours and properly into the middle of the night, the last time David looked at a clock it was past two in the morning he finally fell asleep on the couch with the light of the living room TV on his face.

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” The fire alarm blared. David was on his feet in moments. His room is filled with toys, posters and stuffed animals. He almost had a whole zoo of stuffed creatures strewn about. He raced out of his room and his eyes stung and his face and arms burned. “Ahhh!” He screamed in pain and darted away down the hall as fire slicked behind him into his room.

He looked down the hall, the path to his parent’s room already had fire crawling up the wall with his family pictures. “MOMMY! DADDY!” He screamed and against better judgement ran through the flames and pushed against the door. It came off its hinges easily as the fire damaged door crumbled into ash.

“AHHHHHH!” He screamed deeply. His parent’s bed was engulfed in flames along with the rest of the room. The smoke stung his eyes filling them with tears as he had to step away coughing. He collapsed onto the ground. It was hot. The window broke and air rushed in. Painful fire rushed over him. “AHHHHH!” He screeched again, loud and harsh since his throat hurt.

He crawled through the smoke to the last place he could go. His brother’s room. It was mostly empty since he left for college but it was furthest away from the fire. He crawled into the room. It was still smokey and hot but felt almost cold on his fire burned skin. “HELP! DADDY!” He screamed. “HELP! MOMMY!”

Aaron woke up when he heard the first scream coming from downstairs. At first he thought it may have been the TV but when David screamed the second time he rushed downstairs. His younger brother was thrashing around on the floor, he looked like he was in genuine pain. Aaron didn’t know what to do and tried to move things out of his way. When he started to scream for help he finally grabbed him and pulled him into his lap.

“I’m here Davey.” He told him. David still convulsed in his arms. He held him a little tighter.

David’s eyes finally snapped open. He screamed loudly. Harshly. With everything he had. Everything felt bad. He wasn’t in the right place. He gasped for air, it was clean. He groaned as his mind caught up with his surroundings. He was in the living room. Nothing was on fire.

“Davey.” Aaron said calmly. Loosening his grip a little.

David groaned again. He was sweating. He was crying. There was snot dripping out of his nose. He sniffed deeply. He breathed heavily. He didn’t say a word.

Aaron’s heart dropped. He didn’t need to ask. This was the second time today his little brother had a complete meltdown. He was not okay. He felt like crying himself but just gently rubbed his back and pulled David closer so his face buried itself into his shoulder. He didn’t protest at all, in fact he held onto Aaron trying to calm himself down. Which didn’t happen quickly. He cried in big wails and shivers, whatever he was dreaming about had clearly sent him into an absolute fit. He only stopped crying after he got physically exhausted.

After David stopped crying Aaron picked him up so he was standing and led him to the kitchen. He got him a big glass of water which he greedily drank from. “David.” Aaron said while his brother gulped down the water. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

David set the glass down and looked up at his brother. He gulped. He knew there were things to tell him but where to start? Does he simply explain the dream, a dream he hadn’t had in years. Does he tell him about the PTSD, which shouldn’t be bothering him anymore. “I think… I need my medicine.” He told him and frowned, scrunching up his face. He didn’t like relying on it but this situation was part of the reason he had started taking it in the first place.

Aaron nodded and went to the cupboard and pulled out one of the bottles. He stopped though. “Should we call Dr Bellamy?” He asked him.

David frowned. Then thought for a second. “I know what I need.” He spat at his brother. “YOU WEREN’T THERE!”

Aaron’s lips quivered. He looked at the complicated medicine that started with a B, he didn’t really know what they did. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked and held out the bottle of pills to him.

David felt guilty. His brother was obviously and rightfully concerned about him. He had just cried on his shoulder for half an hour, he could still see the damp stains on his brother’s clothes. “After the fire.” He started and struggled to open the pill bottle. “I was hurt pretty bad.”

Aaron sucked in a deep breath but didn’t say anything, wanting his brother to continue. He remembered how his brother looked. But he wasn’t there. It took him hours to get to the hospital and by then he was asleep and in bandages. The doctors had him sleeping for days and days. Aaron tried to stay by his side but had to commute back and forth, it’s not like he had a place to stay.

“It was hard.” David started. “It hurt a lot and I kept thinking about Mom and Dad.” The pill bottle top finally snapped open, spilling the pills onto the ground. “FUCK!” He screamed.

“I got it.” Aaron told him and knelt down to carefully pick up each pill. He put one of the little blue pills into his brother’s hand, it was shaking.

His brother took it and gulped down some more water. “Th-that night.” He went on. “I saw them.”

“Saw who?” Aaron asked putting the pills back into the yellow bottle.

“Mom and Dad.” David said. “That’s what I was dreaming of.”

Aaron froze. He didn’t know the details of the night. David wouldn’t talk about it and eventually said he told a therapist about it. “On the night of the fire?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah.” David confirmed. The two of them stood in silence for a moment.

“Oh. David. I’m so sorry.” Aaron told him and pulled his brother into a hug.

David let himself get hugged but his arms were lifeless at his sides. “I haven’t been like this in years.” He complained.

“Well.” Aaron said. “I want to call Dr Bellamy then.”

David knew that was the right thing to do, she was his therapist afterall and doing a new treatment with her. He wrapped his arms around his older brother. “Okay.” He told him.